[
  {
    "start": 14.06,
    "end": 19.6,
    "text": "Welcome to this week's reflection episode, following the main episode called The Talking Reflex."
  },
  {
    "start": 20.3,
    "end": 23.32,
    "text": "Before we start I want you listen a conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 42.62,
    "end": 44.6,
    "text": "I'm surprised to hear you're struggling with the team."
  },
  {
    "start": 45.24,
    "end": 51.94,
    "text": "You are a great project manager, i know this one is tough but you've managed other challenging ones really well!"
  },
  {
    "start": 52.44,
    "end": 54.38,
    "text": "Yes...but we struggled in time line."
  },
  {
    "start": 54.82,
    "end": 59.54,
    "text": "It was too optimistic The teams exhausted There were more and more mistakes happening…I"
  },
  {
    "start": 59.62,
    "end": 64.879,
    "text": "understand And feel your frustration But listen..the Project Is Really Important."
  },
  {
    "start": 65.379,
    "end": 66.42,
    "text": "That's why I gave it To you."
  },
  {
    "start": 67.08,
    "end": 69.34,
    "text": "Hang In there Your Doing A Great Job."
  },
  {
    "start": 70.0,
    "end": 72.5,
    "text": "I'll speak to Karen and see what we can do about the timeline."
  },
  {
    "start": 73.12,
    "end": 73.42,
    "text": "Okay?"
  },
  {
    "start": 74.02,
    "end": 76.08,
    "text": "Um, okay sure thank you."
  },
  {
    "start": 77.179,
    "end": 79.42,
    "text": "Did you notice what happened in this conversation?"
  },
  {
    "start": 80.0,
    "end": 84.259,
    "text": "What did Mark actually want to discuss And what was the goal of the manager ?"
  },
  {
    "start": 84.679,
    "end": 87.16,
    "text": "Did she come with the intention To understand him?"
  },
  {
    "start": 87.94,
    "end": 91.14,
    "text": "Sure She listened and appeared to be warm and caring."
  },
  {
    "start": 91.699,
    "end": 99.1,
    "text": "She sounded encouraging Even promised help But mark left with nothing Because he didn't came for a pep talk."
  },
  {
    "start": 99.82,
    "end": 103.88,
    "text": "He came because mistakes are piling up and he can see where they lead."
  },
  {
    "start": 126.86,
    "end": 130.28,
    "text": "Maybe even more frustrated because now he thinks he's on his own."
  },
  {
    "start": 131.18,
    "end": 136.5,
    "text": "The manager's intention is quite obvious, she wants him to keep going and take care of things!"
  },
  {
    "start": 137.38,
    "end": 142.04,
    "text": "Now let's run this conversation again but this time...she listens to understand."
  },
  {
    "start": 142.86,
    "end": 145.44,
    "text": "Watch what happens when she actually wants to know"
  },
  {
    "start": 146.18,
    "end": 147.02,
    "text": "How are you doing Mark?"
  },
  {
    "start": 147.54,
    "end": 148.4,
    "text": "Is everything alright?"
  },
  {
    "start": 149.32,
    "end": 150.66,
    "text": "You seem a bit frustrated."
  },
  {
    "start": 151.42,
    "end": 152.4,
    "text": "Tell me whats going on."
  },
  {
    "start": 153.4,
    "end": 155.9,
    "text": "Well..to be honest I am frustrated."
  },
  {
    "start": 156.58,
    "end": 158.08,
    "text": "The project isn't going well."
  },
  {
    "start": 158.86,
    "end": 163.24,
    "text": "I'm having a hard time with the team, considering stepping down as Project Lead."
  },
  {
    "start": 163.98,
    "end": 165.58,
    "text": "Okay that's serious decision."
  },
  {
    "start": 166.44,
    "end": 167.38,
    "text": "What makes you consider"
  },
  {
    "start": 167.48,
    "end": 167.56,
    "text": "it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 168.18,
    "end": 169.34,
    "text": "The teams exhausted."
  },
  {
    "start": 170.0,
    "end": 173.16,
    "text": "We're making mistakes and feel like i am losing control."
  },
  {
    "start": 173.96,
    "end": 174.22,
    "text": "Yes!"
  },
  {
    "start": 174.52,
    "end": 176.32,
    "text": "I know the timeline was optimistic."
  },
  {
    "start": 178.4,
    "end": 179.94,
    "text": "Tell me what is actually happening"
  },
  {
    "start": 186.5,
    "end": 190.26,
    "text": "and we never mapped it properly onto how people actually work day-to-day."
  },
  {
    "start": 190.8,
    "end": 194.46,
    "text": "So the pilot surfaced this, And were still on initial timeline?"
  },
  {
    "start": 194.86,
    "end": 195.42,
    "text": "Exactly!"
  },
  {
    "start": 196.08,
    "end": 199.4,
    "text": "That's part that worries me because it invites more mistakes."
  },
  {
    "start": 199.9,
    "end": 203.48,
    "text": "What happens if you keep going without fixing connection problem first"
  },
  {
    "start": 203.88,
    "end": 205.5,
    "text": "Then roll out company wide?"
  },
  {
    "start": 205.96,
    "end": 207.62,
    "text": "The mistake won't be small anymore."
  },
  {
    "start": 208.16,
    "end": 208.48,
    "text": "They'll hit."
  },
  {
    "start": 208.64,
    "end": 209.9,
    "text": "every team depends upon."
  },
  {
    "start": 210.58,
    "end": 212.62,
    "text": "Okay...that is what I needed to hear."
  },
  {
    "start": 213.5,
    "end": 215.22,
    "text": "This isn't really about you or your team."
  },
  {
    "start": 215.84,
    "end": 220.0,
    "text": "It's that the timeline is built on an assumption The Pilot already proved wrong."
  },
  {
    "start": 220.46,
    "end": 221.5,
    "text": "Yes, That's it!"
  },
  {
    "start": 222.06,
    "end": 224.0,
    "text": "What kept you from addressing this sooner?"
  },
  {
    "start": 224.7,
    "end": 227.58,
    "text": "Honestly I thought was my job to absorb it."
  },
  {
    "start": 228.38,
    "end": 231.58,
    "text": "Karen has seen the pilot findings and the Timeline stayed."
  },
  {
    "start": 232.06,
    "end": 236.64,
    "text": "Okay i understand And really appreciate your commitment and willingness To push through."
  },
  {
    "start": 237.62,
    "end": 239.46,
    "text": "But thats not on You Not This."
  },
  {
    "start": 240.28,
    "end": 246.58,
    "text": "Let me repeat what I heard The pilot showed the tool doesn't cleanly map to our existing systems and processes,"
  },
  {
    "start": 270.62,
    "end": 270.78,
    "text": "Thank"
  },
  {
    "start": 272.08,
    "end": 273.6,
    "text": "you for bringing this to me now, Mark."
  },
  {
    "start": 274.16,
    "end": 275.28,
    "text": "I really appreciate your"
  },
  {
    "start": 275.34,
    "end": 275.86,
    "text": "commitment.\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 288.48,
    "end": 303.78,
    "text": "The manager saw Mark was frustrated and reached for the fastest fix."
  },
  {
    "start": 304.5,
    "end": 306.6,
    "text": "Reassure him, lift them up keep him"
  },
  {
    "start": 306.7,
    "end": 307.02,
    "text": "going.\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 307.6,
    "end": 311.74,
    "text": "And so she squeezed in a conversation with only that goal in mind."
  },
  {
    "start": 312.52,
    "end": 314.04,
    "text": "but consider what it cost her."
  },
  {
    "start": 314.78,
    "end": 319.4,
    "text": "by focusing on a pep talk She closed the door to the information That mattered!"
  },
  {
    "start": 319.96,
    "end": 324.08,
    "text": "She didn't ask a single question To find out how serious It actually Was."
  },
  {
    "start": 325.02,
    "end": 330.42,
    "text": "if she'd asked just two questions from second scene What makes you consider it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 330.9,
    "end": 331.58,
    "text": "And what kind of"
  },
  {
    "start": 331.66,
    "end": 332.26,
    "text": "mistakes?\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 332.72,
    "end": 334.78,
    "text": "She would have heard enough to keep asking."
  },
  {
    "start": 335.46,
    "end": 341.54,
    "text": "Instead, she talked herself right past the emergency – that's why talking reflects can cost us!"
  },
  {
    "start": 342.06,
    "end": 346.12,
    "text": "It doesn't just leave people unheard but hides things we need know…."
  },
  {
    "start": 347.08,
    "end": 349.56,
    "text": "So what could've stopped her from giving a pep talk?"
  },
  {
    "start": 350.44,
    "end": 355.34,
    "text": "Seeing Marx frustration and responding with intention to understand whats going on?"
  },
  {
    "start": 356.0,
    "end": 360.48,
    "text": "This is first most important practice and it's the one we rarely train."
  },
  {
    "start": 361.06,
    "end": 362.74,
    "text": "Let's call it The Intention Check!"
  },
  {
    "start": 363.66,
    "end": 366.32,
    "text": "For a leader, the intention isn't a choice."
  },
  {
    "start": 366.74,
    "end": 371.78,
    "text": "When someone comes to you there is really only one to start with And that is to understand them."
  },
  {
    "start": 372.34,
    "end": 374.48,
    "text": "So this not about choosing an intension."
  },
  {
    "start": 375.1,
    "end": 380.8,
    "text": "It's catching the ones who compete for what has come first Because we rarely walk in empty."
  },
  {
    "start": 381.56,
    "end": 391.2,
    "text": "There always somethings want Keep person going Wrap up fast because of meeting get people back on track, protect the decision we already made."
  },
  {
    "start": 392.02,
    "end": 393.76,
    "text": "Do you notice what each of those does?"
  },
  {
    "start": 394.5,
    "end": 399.88,
    "text": "The moment we want a particular outcome – We've already decided where that conversation should end!"
  },
  {
    "start": 400.62,
    "end": 405.62,
    "text": "And if we have decided this outcome…we're not listening but talking our way toward it."
  },
  {
    "start": 406.14,
    "end": 408.26,
    "text": "That's what happened in first conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 409.0,
    "end": 410.92,
    "text": "Her intention was to keep Mark going."
  },
  {
    "start": 411.46,
    "end": 415.16,
    "text": "She didn't listen because her goal ran the entire conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 416.02,
    "end": 421.36,
    "text": "So the intention check is a simple honest question before you go into any conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 422.22,
    "end": 423.7,
    "text": "What do I want out of this?"
  },
  {
    "start": 424.46,
    "end": 435.08,
    "text": "If the answer's anything other than to understand, write it down and put it aside because It's not that the other goals don't matter They do but they come later."
  },
  {
    "start": 435.8,
    "end": 440.0,
    "text": "You can't understand someone and manage them toward your goals at the same time."
  },
  {
    "start": 440.74,
    "end": 443.26,
    "text": "The initial goal is to understand first."
  },
  {
    "start": 443.8,
    "end": 447.96,
    "text": "It's simple and super effective, but only if you make it a habit."
  },
  {
    "start": 448.94,
    "end": 449.86,
    "text": "And none of this is new!"
  },
  {
    "start": 450.52,
    "end": 457.4,
    "text": "Over thirty years ago Stephen Covey put in one line Seek first to understand then be understood."
  },
  {
    "start": 458.18,
    "end": 462.18,
    "text": "You've probably heard it But most people who hear it reach for the how."
  },
  {
    "start": 462.72,
    "end": 468.72,
    "text": "Make eye contact Reflect back what you heard Validate person infront of you Show empathy."
  },
  {
    "start": 469.62,
    "end": 472.24,
    "text": "That's the trap we talked about on our main episode."
  },
  {
    "start": 472.68,
    "end": 473.72,
    "text": "Those are techniques."
  },
  {
    "start": 474.36,
    "end": 478.14,
    "text": "And a technique without the right intention is just performance!"
  },
  {
    "start": 479.08,
    "end": 490.66,
    "text": "So, The check it's just that... It takes only one moment to think about what might be competing with your intentions and to actively put aside until you've listened and understood."
  },
  {
    "start": 491.5,
    "end": 492.74,
    "text": "This is the foundation…."
  },
  {
    "start": 493.4,
    "end": 493.78,
    "text": "Now What?"
  },
  {
    "start": 494.38,
    "end": 495.54,
    "text": "How do we actually get there?"
  },
  {
    "start": 496.42,
    "end": 498.2,
    "text": "First practice opens the door."
  },
  {
    "start": 498.86,
    "end": 500.62,
    "text": "Second will help you walk through."
  },
  {
    "start": 501.32,
    "end": 509.9,
    "text": "It's the practice of asking good questions, not as simple as a check but something you build conversation by conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 510.9,
    "end": 519.78,
    "text": "In The Talking Reflex I said if we understood what A Great Question does far more our sentences would end with question mark instead period."
  },
  {
    "start": 520.72,
    "end": 526.78,
    "text": "As someone who started her career in executive search asking great questions was one my first learning goals."
  },
  {
    "start": 527.58,
    "end": 534.2,
    "text": "it not only determined quality interviews but matter just as much for understanding what my clients actually needed."
  },
  {
    "start": 534.96,
    "end": 541.08,
    "text": "And the first thing I came to understand is that how we phrase a question already influences the answer?"
  },
  {
    "start": 542.14,
    "end": 546.6,
    "text": "Take the difference between these two, so you enjoy developing your people right."
  },
  {
    "start": 547.48,
    "end": 550.42,
    "text": "and What are your thoughts about developing People?"
  },
  {
    "start": 551.56,
    "end": 553.78,
    "text": "You see The First One isn't really A Question."
  },
  {
    "start": 554.26,
    "end": 557.26,
    "text": "it's me giving the person an idea About what i want To hear."
  },
  {
    "start": 558.06,
    "end": 562.78,
    "text": "The second one shows that I really want to know something, and thats the part that matters."
  },
  {
    "start": 563.76,
    "end": 569.84,
    "text": "One of the reasons i enjoyed working in executive search was my genuine curiosity about people & companies!"
  },
  {
    "start": 570.82,
    "end": 574.4,
    "text": "I loved talking to clients and candidates... ...and learning more about them."
  },
  {
    "start": 575.2,
    "end": 581.64,
    "text": "Curiosity is key to asking good questions because a real question.. ..is when you don't have an answer too."
  },
  {
    "start": 582.64,
    "end": 585.28,
    "text": "It sounds oh so obvious but believe me it isn't."
  },
  {
    "start": 586.04,
    "end": 590.0,
    "text": "A lot of the questions we ask are leading and closed questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 590.96,
    "end": 602.86,
    "text": "Edgar Schein, who studied this for decades called a different approach The Humble Inquiry asking from genuine curiosity with the assumption that the person in front of you knows something You don't."
  },
  {
    "start": 603.74,
    "end": 620.8,
    "text": "And This is where I want to mention one Of three influences again For why many leaders aren't great listeners and on doing it with confidence, uncertainty instead of staying open to the things we don't know."
  },
  {
    "start": 621.78,
    "end": 628.38,
    "text": "Such leadership training also feeds a talking reflex – It shuts down curiosity And The Willingness To Listen."
  },
  {
    "start": 629.16,
    "end": 632.0,
    "text": "Now what are moves that come up meaning for questions?"
  },
  {
    "start": 632.86,
    "end": 634.98,
    "text": "I will give you four that i've found most useful!"
  },
  {
    "start": 642.54,
    "end": 646.36,
    "text": "but just check how often we keep asking leading and closed questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 647.02,
    "end": 648.36,
    "text": "We do it for the same reason."
  },
  {
    "start": 648.6,
    "end": 657.98,
    "text": "I gave you the intention check as practice one way too often, we think talking is leading And that's why try to steer conversations instead of listening."
  },
  {
    "start": 658.06,
    "end": 658.8,
    "text": "to understand!"
  },
  {
    "start": 662.22,
    "end": 664.32,
    "text": "They usually start with what?"
  },
  {
    "start": 664.72,
    "end": 665.88,
    "text": "How or tell me?"
  },
  {
    "start": 666.86,
    "end": 672.46,
    "text": "Instead, I'm asking you to check how often leading and closed ones are still driving your conversations."
  },
  {
    "start": 673.28,
    "end": 675.98,
    "text": "Just count every time you catch yourself in the next week!"
  },
  {
    "start": 676.7,
    "end": 679.16,
    "text": "You might be surprised – And once you notice…."
  },
  {
    "start": 679.4,
    "end": 681.32,
    "text": "…you will change to open questions faster."
  },
  {
    "start": 682.14,
    "end": 686.38,
    "text": "The second move is to shift from asking why questions... ...to what questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 687.0,
    "end": 691.06,
    "text": "In the second scene, the manager asked What kept her from addressing this sooner?"
  },
  {
    "start": 691.82,
    "end": 694.72,
    "text": "She could have also asked Why didn't she address it sooner?"
  },
  {
    "start": 695.5,
    "end": 701.56,
    "text": "But the why could have triggered defensiveness and most likely Mark's answer wouldn't have been as open."
  },
  {
    "start": 702.44,
    "end": 705.98,
    "text": "Why questions push people to justify, and rationalize?"
  },
  {
    "start": 706.38,
    "end": 708.22,
    "text": "While what question opens them up?"
  },
  {
    "start": 709.16,
    "end": 715.52,
    "text": "So when you catch a why rising in you especially about something that went wrong turn it into What Question."
  },
  {
    "start": 716.44,
    "end": 722.12,
    "text": "The third move is less about Questions And more About What Allows Them To Settle In People's Heads."
  },
  {
    "start": 725.48,
    "end": 727.04,
    "text": "It's a simple short pause."
  },
  {
    "start": 727.72,
    "end": 731.54,
    "text": "Most people struggle with silence in conversation, it is awkward!"
  },
  {
    "start": 732.2,
    "end": 738.1,
    "text": "One second and we jump back in leaving no space for the other person to really think before they answer."
  },
  {
    "start": 739.08,
    "end": 746.12,
    "text": "Research found that if you extend this pause just three seconds The quality of answers improves significantly."
  },
  {
    "start": 747.16,
    "end": 749.3,
    "text": "So ask your question And wait."
  },
  {
    "start": 750.26,
    "end": 750.64,
    "text": "That's all."
  },
  {
    "start": 751.52,
    "end": 761.2,
    "text": "Sound simple but believe me Before I practice Counting to three in my head until the pause became a habit, I struggled to sit with the silence."
  },
  {
    "start": 762.18,
    "end": 764.94,
    "text": "The last move is one that does more than any other."
  },
  {
    "start": 765.84,
    "end": 767.64,
    "text": "Asking follow-up questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 768.34,
    "end": 770.7,
    "text": "It's a follow up on what this person just said."
  },
  {
    "start": 771.5,
    "end": 772.54,
    "text": "You said you're losing grip."
  },
  {
    "start": 773.08,
    "end": 774.1,
    "text": "What do mean by it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 774.68,
    "end": 775.86,
    "text": "What happening right now?"
  },
  {
    "start": 776.88,
    "end": 780.08,
    "text": "Follow-up question are the clearest signal That your listening."
  },
  {
    "start": 783.2,
    "end": 788.54,
    "text": "It only exists if you heard the last thing that person said and genuinely want to know more."
  },
  {
    "start": 789.42,
    "end": 796.84,
    "text": "So in your next conversations, try to use a follow-up question whenever possible And see how much more you understand and get back."
  },
  {
    "start": 797.82,
    "end": 800.28,
    "text": "These are four key moves for better questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 800.78,
    "end": 810.84,
    "text": "Together with The Intention Check there two practices That will not only allow For deeper listening & Better understanding But they also improve connection With people around You."
  },
  {
    "start": 811.82,
    "end": 813.84,
    "text": "So use them with your friends and family too."
  },
  {
    "start": 814.9,
    "end": 820.24,
    "text": "Let me give you a quick summary, check your intention first And make understanding the first priority."
  },
  {
    "start": 821.16,
    "end": 827.32,
    "text": "Ask better questions by making them open-ended By shifting from why to what questions?"
  },
  {
    "start": 828.02,
    "end": 834.28,
    "text": "Accept the silence and allow for pauses of at least three seconds and ask follow up questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 835.34,
    "end": 836.9,
    "text": "These are the practices for today."
  },
  {
    "start": 837.66,
    "end": 839.64,
    "text": "let me know where you experience using them."
  },
  {
    "start": 840.28,
    "end": 842.62,
    "text": "You can write to me on LinkedIn or send an email."
  },
  {
    "start": 843.36,
    "end": 847.68,
    "text": "Next week I will look into the challenge of giving people purpose and direction."
  },
  {
    "start": 848.5,
    "end": 850.62,
    "text": "so stay curious, stay tuned!"
  },
  {
    "start": 851.4,
    "end": 856.52,
    "text": "Thanks for tuning in to The New Work Playbook where work is better because people matter."
  }
]