[
  {
    "start": 0.0,
    "end": 2.18,
    "text": "Hey friends, welcome to the Marriage After God podcast."
  },
  {
    "start": 2.84,
    "end": 3.94,
    "text": "I'm your host Aaron Smith."
  },
  {
    "start": 5.02,
    "end": 11.68,
    "text": "today's episode is about grief and so i just wanted to give a quick disclaimer."
  },
  {
    "start": 11.72,
    "end": 12.56,
    "text": "it's just a warning."
  },
  {
    "start": 13.12,
    "end": 22.48,
    "text": "if you're currently going through The loss of A child something or loss Of family member something that's really hard this will be one of two things for You."
  },
  {
    "start": 22.86,
    "end": 34.34,
    "text": "It'll Be either Very Encouraging Something That's Going To Bring You Strength And Hope or depending on how hard of a time you're having right now, it might be too heavy for you."
  },
  {
    "start": 34.84,
    "end": 36.14,
    "text": "And so I just wanted to give that little warning."
  },
  {
    "start": 36.96,
    "end": 43.98,
    "text": "this is an interview i'm doing with Matthew Efrid awesome man-of-god awesome father."
  },
  {
    "start": 44.46,
    "end": 45.34,
    "text": "he's got four boys."
  },
  {
    "start": 45.56,
    "end": 54.78,
    "text": "one of his sons He lost back in twenty twenty after um...he was right after his born uh fit..I think it was fifty seven hours he got to spend With his son."
  },
  {
    "start": 54.9,
    "end": 62.44,
    "text": "So he shares the story leading up to that, how God helped him and his wife manage that grief."
  },
  {
    "start": 63.24,
    "end": 74.56,
    "text": "And now he serves others in blessing other's teaching them showing what God has shown them in the season of intense grief over their son."
  },
  {
    "start": 76.42,
    "end": 91.2,
    "text": "If you are interested I believe it will be super encouraging for me even though i have never gone through If you're going through something hard, if your go through a season of mourning or grief."
  },
  {
    "start": 92.12,
    "end": 94.52,
    "text": "this might be very encouraging episode for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 95.62,
    "end": 96.68,
    "text": "Just wanted to put that out there."
  },
  {
    "start": 96.72,
    "end": 97.56,
    "text": "Why did you want it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 97.62,
    "end": 98.26,
    "text": "Let me know about that."
  },
  {
    "start": 98.5,
    "end": 106.2,
    "text": "if you haven't subscribed our channel, please subscribe so they don't miss an episode of mine and my wife's conversations That we have or any of these interviews that I do."
  },
  {
    "start": 106.72,
    "end": 108.3,
    "text": "They're all the bless you in your marriage."
  },
  {
    "start": 108.7,
    "end": 109.06,
    "text": "There are all two."
  },
  {
    "start": 109.14,
    "end": 120.36,
    "text": "encourage You to draw closer to Christ into each other And so If you having yet Please subscribe to our Channel share this video with a friend that may be going through something really difficult Something really hard."
  },
  {
    "start": 121.98,
    "end": 128.979,
    "text": "The advice and the testimony that Matthew shares is incredibly powerful, incredibly encouraging."
  },
  {
    "start": 129.12,
    "end": 134.02,
    "text": "And points you directly back to the heart of God in what he has for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 135.98,
    "end": 138.56,
    "text": "If you want to listen I encourage you to do a listen to this whole thing."
  },
  {
    "start": 139.74,
    "end": 142.54,
    "text": "so enjoy my conversation with Matthew Efrid."
  },
  {
    "start": 142.68,
    "end": 145.18,
    "text": "Matthew E Frid welcome to the Marriage After God podcast."
  },
  {
    "start": 145.22,
    "end": 146.04,
    "text": "super happy to have you man!"
  },
  {
    "start": 146.46,
    "end": 147.02,
    "text": "Thank You Aaron."
  },
  {
    "start": 147.06,
    "end": 147.82,
    "text": "it's truly my honor."
  },
  {
    "start": 147.96,
    "end": 148.5,
    "text": "thank you for having"
  },
  {
    "start": 150.04,
    "end": 150.18,
    "text": "me."
  },
  {
    "start": 150.78,
    "end": 152.68,
    "text": "So I only just learned about you."
  },
  {
    "start": 153.32,
    "end": 154.76,
    "text": "Um, I think you guys reached out to us."
  },
  {
    "start": 155.12,
    "end": 169.74,
    "text": "um but i saw your story...I saw what your book was about and it's something that I know many of our listeners have probably gone through are probably currently going through on varying levels And so I just was excited to chat with you and hear the."
  },
  {
    "start": 172.82,
    "end": 172.86,
    "text": "And."
  },
  {
    "start": 174.16,
    "end": 178.62,
    "text": "so before we jump too deep into all this, I do always like to just go all the way back."
  },
  {
    "start": 178.7,
    "end": 180.64,
    "text": "Like who is Matthew Eford?"
  },
  {
    "start": 181.56,
    "end": 182.38,
    "text": "How long you've been married?"
  },
  {
    "start": 183.06,
    "end": 183.98,
    "text": "how many kids Do You have?"
  },
  {
    "start": 184.66,
    "end": 187.5,
    "text": "and then yeah will work We'll work our way up from there."
  },
  {
    "start": 187.94,
    "end": 197.2,
    "text": "Yes great Matthew EFord them unapologetically a follower of Jesus Christ Married my high school sweethearts best decision outside relationship award ever made."
  },
  {
    "start": 197.3,
    "end": 198.92,
    "text": "we've been together sixteen years."
  },
  {
    "start": 199.0,
    "end": 205.66,
    "text": "We'd been married for twelve going on thirteen years We have four amazing boys, almost nine."
  },
  {
    "start": 206.36,
    "end": 207.16,
    "text": "Almost seven."
  },
  {
    "start": 208.58,
    "end": 208.92,
    "text": "Goodness!"
  },
  {
    "start": 209.08,
    "end": 210.92,
    "text": "Almost six and almost four."
  },
  {
    "start": 211.48,
    "end": 218.38,
    "text": "So our second son Noah passed away in twenty-twenty And so he would be almost seven."
  },
  {
    "start": 218.78,
    "end": 221.0,
    "text": "He's coming up on seven at the time of his recording."
  },
  {
    "start": 221.04,
    "end": 228.86,
    "text": "You know man it just changed her life Changed her marriage, changed me as a man As dad leader."
  },
  {
    "start": 229.46,
    "end": 231.96,
    "text": "I'm excited for this conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 232.04,
    "end": 249.16,
    "text": "Just talk about what we want in the process, but my day job when i'm not doing this and i'm writing or speaking like an opportunity to travel and speak at churches and conferences And work with organizations both in The secular world as well as in the faith-based world."
  },
  {
    "start": 249.8,
    "end": 250.78,
    "text": "just about What does it look like?"
  },
  {
    "start": 250.82,
    "end": 251.76,
    "text": "To show up As a leader?"
  },
  {
    "start": 252.26,
    "end": 254.54,
    "text": "how do you show Up from an empathetic leadership?"
  },
  {
    "start": 255.0,
    "end": 259.18,
    "text": "But uh, i've got a few businesses that We run An outward best control company."
  },
  {
    "start": 260.24,
    "end": 263.18,
    "text": "No, we're lighting company and an hour lighting franchise."
  },
  {
    "start": 264.34,
    "end": 265.14,
    "text": "Yeah, it's fun."
  },
  {
    "start": 265.38,
    "end": 266.08,
    "text": "Got a great team."
  },
  {
    "start": 266.54,
    "end": 271.58,
    "text": "It was a lot of fun to be apart of And that does what kind of keeps you busy during the"
  },
  {
    "start": 271.84,
    "end": 276.1,
    "text": "awesome father entrepreneur Christian husband not in that order."
  },
  {
    "start": 276.9,
    "end": 279.5,
    "text": "No, it sounds like my life very similar."
  },
  {
    "start": 279.62,
    "end": 285.28,
    "text": "besides part of the story that you guys have That I want to get into in a little bit but before we get there There's always a journey."
  },
  {
    "start": 285.36,
    "end": 287.7,
    "text": "That leads up to these stories that God has for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 287.94,
    "end": 297.8,
    "text": "You know We can't write them were apart of it But he's definitely drawing and leading and guiding and sometimes we don't get a say And how things turn out?"
  },
  {
    "start": 298.4,
    "end": 300.22,
    "text": "It still doesn't mean god is not good."
  },
  {
    "start": 301.28,
    "end": 301.68,
    "text": "so you"
  },
  {
    "start": 301.78,
    "end": 304.54,
    "text": "said sixteen years together So"
  },
  {
    "start": 304.86,
    "end": 305.42,
    "text": "we dated."
  },
  {
    "start": 305.54,
    "end": 306.96,
    "text": "Yeah, We dated in high school."
  },
  {
    "start": 307.1,
    "end": 318.78,
    "text": "so we dated After I graduated her senior year into my senior year again for seniors started dating and so we did it For about four years before he got married And then we gotten married in twenty fourteen"
  },
  {
    "start": 318.82,
    "end": 319.72,
    "text": "after you guys graduated"
  },
  {
    "start": 319.98,
    "end": 320.22,
    "text": "right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 320.3,
    "end": 321.14,
    "text": "You have to graduate."
  },
  {
    "start": 321.18,
    "end": 325.28,
    "text": "she's a year on I am at school and so She was student teaching."
  },
  {
    "start": 325.44,
    "end": 331.68,
    "text": "so I still don't know how the school systems work that out but they get teachers To pay to work at the school."
  },
  {
    "start": 332.26,
    "end": 333.1,
    "text": "It's it's amazing."
  },
  {
    "start": 333.22,
    "end": 341.42,
    "text": "I wish i could figure that out as a business owner how to get people to pay you To work with me, but anyways she was student teaching her senior year right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 341.5,
    "end": 345.78,
    "text": "so She's paying the university to get her college education Which is great."
  },
  {
    "start": 345.94,
    "end": 346.92,
    "text": "we're very thankful for it."
  },
  {
    "start": 347.54,
    "end": 351.3,
    "text": "But she was working at a local school just serving those students there."
  },
  {
    "start": 351.88,
    "end": 354.82,
    "text": "and So if she was basically working her senior years?"
  },
  {
    "start": 354.96,
    "end": 355.96,
    "text": "We went ahead got married."
  },
  {
    "start": 356.18,
    "end": 356.34,
    "text": "both"
  },
  {
    "start": 356.38,
    "end": 358.8,
    "text": "of you guys believers yes Even back then."
  },
  {
    "start": 359.3,
    "end": 369.12,
    "text": "yeah long-time believers tell me Your guys' faith has played a role in your guy's marriage up until like, you know leading up to this story that we're going be getting into."
  },
  {
    "start": 369.2,
    "end": 373.14,
    "text": "In your life because I know he God is always guiding us."
  },
  {
    "start": 373.18,
    "end": 378.96,
    "text": "He's got stepping stones that were walking on and following And i'd like to trace those."
  },
  {
    "start": 380.14,
    "end": 381.76,
    "text": "How was god leadin u guys from back then?"
  },
  {
    "start": 381.82,
    "end": 382.28,
    "text": "To dating"
  },
  {
    "start": 383.1,
    "end": 383.54,
    "text": "Married"
  },
  {
    "start": 383.66,
    "end": 385.58,
    "text": "and thinking about kids and family?"
  },
  {
    "start": 387.04,
    "end": 395.78,
    "text": "So there are several things God preparing us right now a write in those book about its."
  },
  {
    "start": 396.26,
    "end": 400.1,
    "text": "but even though we will Read about the sweet prepare."
  },
  {
    "start": 400.2,
    "end": 404.58,
    "text": "We build the arts before the storm not end of storm Like they got."
  },
  {
    "start": 405.02,
    "end": 408.92,
    "text": "god inspires Us, God leads us if we allow him to."
  },
  {
    "start": 409.04,
    "end": 414.88,
    "text": "God challenges us and equips us For the storms that are coming into life well Before we ever knew."
  },
  {
    "start": 416.24,
    "end": 418.48,
    "text": "so I look back on what henna first started dating."
  },
  {
    "start": 418.96,
    "end": 420.54,
    "text": "She was in her senior year of high school."
  },
  {
    "start": 420.9,
    "end": 430.14,
    "text": "I was a freshman in college, i'd gotten an athletic scholarship like football at a small university and just outside of Nashville Tennessee called Cumberland University."
  },
  {
    "start": 430.96,
    "end": 433.14,
    "text": "so we were four-and-a half hours away."
  },
  {
    "start": 433.98,
    "end": 440.82,
    "text": "So that early stage of our relationship Was based on hey how do we learn to communicate?"
  },
  {
    "start": 441.72,
    "end": 447.62,
    "text": "How do we take a lot of physical temptation off the table And how do we make it like where?"
  },
  {
    "start": 447.7,
    "end": 448.88,
    "text": "We're just gonna learn to talk."
  },
  {
    "start": 449.5,
    "end": 450.56,
    "text": "Well, I learned how to be friends."
  },
  {
    "start": 450.62,
    "end": 451.86,
    "text": "So we were friends in high school."
  },
  {
    "start": 452.02,
    "end": 453.96,
    "text": "We are very close friends and High School."
  },
  {
    "start": 454.74,
    "end": 460.82,
    "text": "I think this could be more than just friends really like you and i would like To explore what that looks Like."
  },
  {
    "start": 461.46,
    "end": 468.64,
    "text": "understand that we're friends and if That puts me into position that You don't like that completely respect that In our honor of that."
  },
  {
    "start": 468.7,
    "end": 475.0,
    "text": "but I'd love for us to explore What It Looks Like Today And her response was, well what does it look like when you go to college?"
  },
  {
    "start": 475.14,
    "end": 475.3,
    "text": "Right."
  },
  {
    "start": 475.34,
    "end": 477.04,
    "text": "You're going almost five hours away from."
  },
  {
    "start": 477.8,
    "end": 482.8,
    "text": "and What it did for us is it forced us learn the talk in communicate."
  },
  {
    "start": 483.88,
    "end": 489.14,
    "text": "so I'll fast forward through College into early marriage."
  },
  {
    "start": 490.16,
    "end": 492.74,
    "text": "Into before our first son was born."
  },
  {
    "start": 492.86,
    "end": 499.34,
    "text": "we tried for almost two years To get pregnant with him and learning to lean on each other and communicate with one another."
  },
  {
    "start": 500.0,
    "end": 503.1,
    "text": "It had no clue what was coming in September of twenty nineteen."
  },
  {
    "start": 503.18,
    "end": 509.98,
    "text": "We learned of nose diagnosis But we have a foundation over relationship."
  },
  {
    "start": 510.02,
    "end": 527.16,
    "text": "You know, we had Incredible mentors incredible couple that walked us through pre-medal counseling almost serving...we were serving together at church outside of Athens Georgia Which is where lip school and go dogs University of Georgia And we are surveying our staff there."
  },
  {
    "start": 527.32,
    "end": 532.44,
    "text": "I was as an associate pastor And our senior pastor and his wife were mentoring us."
  },
  {
    "start": 532.58,
    "end": 541.52,
    "text": "We were in community groups, we had consistently invested in our marriage all through alcohol which we had a date night when we ran college together."
  },
  {
    "start": 542.24,
    "end": 543.3,
    "text": "that first year went away."
  },
  {
    "start": 543.38,
    "end": 551.02,
    "text": "it was just talk on phone but its...when we got together in Athens you know It was consistent."
  },
  {
    "start": 551.08,
    "end": 559.06,
    "text": "hey about Thursday nights for our date night even if we don't have any money Its like hey go to the cafe and get ice cream together."
  },
  {
    "start": 561.58,
    "end": 571.7,
    "text": "So the friendship side of our relationship That has always been consistent in us, which I'm so thankful for that."
  },
  {
    "start": 571.92,
    "end": 573.48,
    "text": "I pray so much for boys."
  },
  {
    "start": 573.7,
    "end": 580.0,
    "text": "they They get to experience that What it's like to be married to a best friend?"
  },
  {
    "start": 581.5,
    "end": 587.4,
    "text": "It doesn't make marriage easy But if sure makes it better and yeah"
  },
  {
    "start": 587.76,
    "end": 588.8,
    "text": "probably lot more fun too."
  },
  {
    "start": 589.46,
    "end": 590.8,
    "text": "It's just so much fun."
  },
  {
    "start": 591.24,
    "end": 592.68,
    "text": "And do we have this experience?"
  },
  {
    "start": 592.72,
    "end": 593.38,
    "text": "Of course they do."
  },
  {
    "start": 593.82,
    "end": 599.04,
    "text": "But it's just, hey there is a foundation for our relationship."
  },
  {
    "start": 600.34,
    "end": 609.8,
    "text": "What we found was the more that we pursued Christ The closer that we got Which was always really attractive from me."
  },
  {
    "start": 610.56,
    "end": 619.66,
    "text": "You know It was... There was a heart for her to search the Lord For her to pursue the Lord That she was actually reading Her Bible."
  },
  {
    "start": 619.92,
    "end": 626.34,
    "text": "She was in Bible study spending time in prayer, like I could see her growing and learning."
  },
  {
    "start": 626.96,
    "end": 633.32,
    "text": "And maturing the church towards sanctification or...I could see Her growing into a more mature Christian."
  },
  {
    "start": 634.28,
    "end": 635.58,
    "text": "it inspired me to be the same!"
  },
  {
    "start": 636.82,
    "end": 643.6,
    "text": "As we both did those things together It continued to bring both of us together which was really beautiful."
  },
  {
    "start": 644.54,
    "end": 646.62,
    "text": "Then as i look into our marriage."
  },
  {
    "start": 646.82,
    "end": 657.02,
    "text": "We just carried over those same traditions Into Our Marriage which was, hey how do we continue to pursue Christ together now that we are one?"
  },
  {
    "start": 657.24,
    "end": 661.08,
    "text": "But how would also continue the pursuit of Christ as individuals."
  },
  {
    "start": 662.46,
    "end": 664.28,
    "text": "And then now as parents it's like, Hey!"
  },
  {
    "start": 664.34,
    "end": 672.68,
    "text": "How did you model this right where in a small group at our church she has a ladies' group and she meets with her homeschool co-op?"
  },
  {
    "start": 672.72,
    "end": 676.28,
    "text": "I've got guys groups on me with all our home school co-ops."
  },
  {
    "start": 676.4,
    "end": 680.32,
    "text": "We're just saying like, hey as parents One thing is shared."
  },
  {
    "start": 681.1,
    "end": 681.96,
    "text": "We met a couple weeks ago."
  },
  {
    "start": 683.16,
    "end": 687.84,
    "text": "I said, the goal that i'm looking at with At Home right now?"
  },
  {
    "start": 688.4,
    "end": 690.8,
    "text": "I have an eight five and three year old."
  },
  {
    "start": 692.16,
    "end": 698.02,
    "text": "If I look ten years down the line for me A decade from now it's not that far away Right!"
  },
  {
    "start": 698.56,
    "end": 701.24,
    "text": "I've got an eighteen-year-old, fifteen-year old and thirteen-years-old."
  },
  {
    "start": 702.02,
    "end": 703.56,
    "text": "I made a very different place in my life."
  },
  {
    "start": 704.84,
    "end": 710.1,
    "text": "What I can't do then is start to model what It looks like To be in a relationship with water."
  },
  {
    "start": 710.96,
    "end": 716.1,
    "text": "Yeah, I can't begin to show them what it looks like of me in a Christian community."
  },
  {
    "start": 716.82,
    "end": 721.5,
    "text": "I Can't be began to start to help shepherd their hearts towards the Lord?"
  },
  {
    "start": 722.44,
    "end": 723.5,
    "text": "I better be starting now."
  },
  {
    "start": 724.06,
    "end": 725.76,
    "text": "A better really have started a long time ago."
  },
  {
    "start": 726.04,
    "end": 727.42,
    "text": "right and thankfully we half."
  },
  {
    "start": 728.22,
    "end": 732.84,
    "text": "But is how am i going to surround myself with christian influence and Community?"
  },
  {
    "start": 733.52,
    "end": 736.16,
    "text": "all of us say accountability right accountability."
  },
  {
    "start": 736.22,
    "end": 743.3,
    "text": "as I want to hold you close and call you higher I grew up on a church community that accountability was, hey I'm just trying to catch you doing the wrong thing."
  },
  {
    "start": 743.96,
    "end": 744.1,
    "text": "Right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 744.62,
    "end": 748.64,
    "text": "In your audience if you've been in the same thing and hear accountability like absolutely not!"
  },
  {
    "start": 748.88,
    "end": 769.22,
    "text": "Like iIm NOT going into confession...iIm NOT sitting around a circle talking about all of those bad things ive looked at..that once goes to look at it's none other than this....in my life now what I see is so much appreciation then have for when brother-in Christ will say Hey I want help hold you accountable."
  },
  {
    "start": 769.96,
    "end": 772.58,
    "text": "Yeah, I want to care enough about you as a person."
  },
  {
    "start": 772.62,
    "end": 777.72,
    "text": "I'm gonna hold you really close and all call you higher because i'll watch you To be coming more like crimes."
  },
  {
    "start": 778.58,
    "end": 782.62,
    "text": "And so My beautiful wife has that same thing in her life?"
  },
  {
    "start": 783.3,
    "end": 786.8,
    "text": "And it's just amazing to see One thing that he knows."
  },
  {
    "start": 786.86,
    "end": 801.4,
    "text": "we kind of get into know his story Like yeah, I had always said except from stage Except for the bunches stages but it's okay to not be ok It's not okay to stay there Yeah, and for the first time in my life."
  },
  {
    "start": 802.06,
    "end": 805.92,
    "text": "So Twenty-nineteen on twenty eight years old."
  },
  {
    "start": 806.84,
    "end": 812.46,
    "text": "so Twenty-eight year old just you know coming all twenty nine years old man Man."
  },
  {
    "start": 813.24,
    "end": 813.92,
    "text": "I'm a young dad."
  },
  {
    "start": 814.98,
    "end": 821.5,
    "text": "I'm Young married man of a young business owner And i've been given a diagnosis that My son is going to die."
  },
  {
    "start": 823.3,
    "end": 826.36,
    "text": "look around me like shoot what am I doing?"
  },
  {
    "start": 827.26,
    "end": 827.4,
    "text": "yeah"
  },
  {
    "start": 829.24,
    "end": 831.06,
    "text": "You know, I look back now."
  },
  {
    "start": 832.26,
    "end": 836.76,
    "text": "We've got a mentor that always talks about like the Navy SEALs not maybe still just be really clear."
  },
  {
    "start": 836.88,
    "end": 840.8,
    "text": "anybody who's not watching this list and they might...I'm not an Navy SEILs being really good."
  },
  {
    "start": 841.74,
    "end": 850.08,
    "text": "one of things that i admire so much about community is They invest heavily in the perspective Of In the midst of battle."
  },
  {
    "start": 850.46,
    "end": 851.52,
    "text": "when you get hit in The mouth?"
  },
  {
    "start": 852.42,
    "end": 854.88,
    "text": "You don't rise to the level of occasion."
  },
  {
    "start": 855.52,
    "end": 858.86,
    "text": "you default your highest level of training."
  },
  {
    "start": 858.94,
    "end": 868.18,
    "text": "And So Hen and I immediately were phone into Terminal, we said okay what do you default back to?"
  },
  {
    "start": 868.78,
    "end": 870.06,
    "text": "We had community around us."
  },
  {
    "start": 870.76,
    "end": 875.36,
    "text": "We have small group, mentors...we have faith in the community of us!"
  },
  {
    "start": 875.48,
    "end": 877.5,
    "text": "We didn't need to hurry or find them."
  },
  {
    "start": 878.54,
    "end": 879.86,
    "text": "We just needed to mobilize it."
  },
  {
    "start": 880.8,
    "end": 890.38,
    "text": "Yeah there's a powerful truth that your bringing up You mentioned at the beginning God was preparing for this diagnosis with Noah and what you were about to go through."
  },
  {
    "start": 892.74,
    "end": 896.98,
    "text": "I see it more like, because You weren't just doing those things Because of the situation."
  },
  {
    "start": 897.34,
    "end": 917.48,
    "text": "The thing that you guys are pursuing as a couple Pursuing Christ is all we're called To do And where the believer should be It's abiding in Christ And its the safest place for whatever situation comes Like...you weren't necessarily Just preparing For the situation when Noah abiding in Christ."
  },
  {
    "start": 917.66,
    "end": 938.1,
    "text": "And like you said, You didn't have to scramble on that moment because a lot of I think a lot believers we the royal way We coast and were like oh i'm good until crisis hits...and then we scramble Like you said To find that stability Find that shelter Find security Find christ In the middle Of it."
  },
  {
    "start": 938.94,
    "end": 939.92,
    "text": "That's really hard to do."
  },
  {
    "start": 940.34,
    "end": 940.42,
    "text": "Now."
  },
  {
    "start": 940.46,
    "end": 943.22,
    "text": "of course Christ meets us there He can he does."
  },
  {
    "start": 944.1,
    "end": 954.32,
    "text": "But where Christ wants us to be, or God wants this is already abiding in Christ so that when the storm hits like you said The arcs being built Before the storm heads."
  },
  {
    "start": 954.5,
    "end": 955.9,
    "text": "God said the storms coming."
  },
  {
    "start": 956.3,
    "end": 958.56,
    "text": "we've been going through first Peter with our kids"
  },
  {
    "start": 960.22,
    "end": 960.88,
    "text": "And there's several"
  },
  {
    "start": 961.68,
    "end": 962.84,
    "text": "Several chunks of First Peter."
  },
  {
    "start": 962.94,
    "end": 972.72,
    "text": "large portions of it are about Trials and suffering and he says I don't be surprised When the suffering comes upon as if What's happening?"
  },
  {
    "start": 972.76,
    "end": 973.32,
    "text": "This is crazy."
  },
  {
    "start": 973.36,
    "end": 973.92,
    "text": "He was like, no!"
  },
  {
    "start": 974.76,
    "end": 981.38,
    "text": "I've told you before it happens that Jesus tells His disciples so that You will know... ...that I'm true and that You can trust in"
  },
  {
    "start": 981.44,
    "end": 981.46,
    "text": "me.\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 982.32,
    "end": 991.28,
    "text": "And we have these believers going to hit trials and tribulations and suffering of various kinds as the Bible says if The Lord wills them."
  },
  {
    "start": 991.58,
    "end": 993.3,
    "text": "We don't know what's coming tomorrow."
  },
  {
    "start": 994.0,
    "end": 995.04,
    "text": "And that was your story."
  },
  {
    "start": 995.34,
    "end": 1005.34,
    "text": "You weren't anticipating, you were trying to just pursue the Lord and run your businesses and be a good husband and want family in...and then tragedy hits, suffering hits?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1006.56,
    "end": 1008.84,
    "text": "That comes so many ways!"
  },
  {
    "start": 1009.08,
    "end": 1019.04,
    "text": "I've heard stories from friends of ours or their families' friends driving home and getting hit by car and boom gone like this."
  },
  {
    "start": 1019.64,
    "end": 1023.66,
    "text": "It's normal day."
  },
  {
    "start": 1024.92,
    "end": 1029.839,
    "text": "I just sat with a guy, last week at the time of this recording."
  },
  {
    "start": 1030.079,
    "end": 1041.26,
    "text": "And he was shared with me that six years ago his brother who's twenty-four was in the first year of his marriage A storm came through knocking tree over."
  },
  {
    "start": 1041.4,
    "end": 1044.88,
    "text": "they'd just bought this house like two months and lived on this house."
  },
  {
    "start": 1045.04,
    "end": 1052.36,
    "text": "young married man serving as church Like the sky is the limit Incredibly gifted Tree falls in the house kills them both."
  },
  {
    "start": 1053.7,
    "end": 1057.0,
    "text": "And he looked at me and said, I still don't know what to be."
  },
  {
    "start": 1058.24,
    "end": 1061.84,
    "text": "He said almost seven years of the time."
  },
  {
    "start": 1062.52,
    "end": 1064.28,
    "text": "So all those seven-years are moving so long with"
  },
  {
    "start": 1064.42,
    "end": 1064.48,
    "text": "you.\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 1065.94,
    "end": 1070.38,
    "text": "It's amazing how often I run into that in."
  },
  {
    "start": 1070.46,
    "end": 1073.26,
    "text": "maybe it is part... We've been pretty open about our story."
  },
  {
    "start": 1073.3,
    "end": 1089.28,
    "text": "we try not being this may be the direction your wanting go but for whatever reason God has just really put on this perspective of everybody, everybody grieves but not everyone mourns well."
  },
  {
    "start": 1090.68,
    "end": 1096.56,
    "text": "So I've got a mentor that says that grief keeps you at the grave and mourning allows to move forward."
  },
  {
    "start": 1098.14,
    "end": 1104.36,
    "text": "in the Bible says blessed are those who mourn doesn't say bless it or those who grief right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1105.14,
    "end": 1109.68,
    "text": "The grief is universal But healthy morning looks differently."
  },
  {
    "start": 1110.52,
    "end": 1117.9,
    "text": "And so what is the more open I am of my grief and mourning journey."
  },
  {
    "start": 1118.16,
    "end": 1121.02,
    "text": "Of, The loss of My son as a brief dad."
  },
  {
    "start": 1121.3,
    "end": 1131.54,
    "text": "Man it's amazing how God fuses that to reach other people because It just kind of opens up the ring To say hey this is safe place share hard things right."
  },
  {
    "start": 1131.66,
    "end": 1137.62,
    "text": "so often you walk in with whatever baggage In your heart in Your life And You're like."
  },
  {
    "start": 1137.8,
    "end": 1140.02,
    "text": "nobody else really wants to hear This."
  },
  {
    "start": 1140.2,
    "end": 1145.56,
    "text": "Nobody Else Really Wants to sit in This With Me And so I'm not really going to share it."
  },
  {
    "start": 1146.42,
    "end": 1158.26,
    "text": "That friend of mine, early after his brother was killed shared some things with some friends got some really bad advice and he just kind of said i'm not gonna talk about anyone like this."
  },
  {
    "start": 1158.34,
    "end": 1161.78,
    "text": "no longer a safe thing...I get looked at in weird way!"
  },
  {
    "start": 1162.98,
    "end": 1164.46,
    "text": "We go through tragedy."
  },
  {
    "start": 1165.6,
    "end": 1170.34,
    "text": "there's a lot of rooms that I can go into and crush the room right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1170.38,
    "end": 1177.18,
    "text": "Like you know.. business owners want and it's like, hey everybody is talking about their Q for performance."
  },
  {
    "start": 1177.24,
    "end": 1182.92,
    "text": "And all these things I'm like yeah you know my time done as You can just kind of bring the level to ring down right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1183.46,
    "end": 1190.4,
    "text": "So like I don't unload that burden i try To be respectful Of the way That I open that into a conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 1190.8,
    "end": 1205.08,
    "text": "Right but what I do in that What I have found Is The more Open not As A crushing the room But opening up the Room to say, Hey in this context of the space if it's appropriate like."
  },
  {
    "start": 1205.64,
    "end": 1207.42,
    "text": "This is a safe place to share some hard things."
  },
  {
    "start": 1208.08,
    "end": 1213.66,
    "text": "because what I found and sharing Is that when you do that?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1213.82,
    "end": 1218.1,
    "text": "The other person doesn't feel the burden to pick up your burden."
  },
  {
    "start": 1219.52,
    "end": 1223.02,
    "text": "but they filled the ability To kind of open up on theirs."
  },
  {
    "start": 1223.16,
    "end": 1225.66,
    "text": "And um They cut all that out."
  },
  {
    "start": 1225.92,
    "end": 1229.72,
    "text": "But there just That's kinda where i am In-in this prospect."
  },
  {
    "start": 1231.24,
    "end": 1234.78,
    "text": "you were kind of asking like where did we get to in September of nineteen?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1235.92,
    "end": 1236.98,
    "text": "You know, young dad."
  },
  {
    "start": 1237.5,
    "end": 1238.24,
    "text": "Young visits leader."
  },
  {
    "start": 1239.68,
    "end": 1245.94,
    "text": "Young husband going into a normal scheduled ultrasound appointments or kinda twelve week appointment."
  },
  {
    "start": 1246.04,
    "end": 1250.88,
    "text": "You're gonna see... We took our eighteen month old son at times their oldest and it was gonna."
  },
  {
    "start": 1250.96,
    "end": 1251.08,
    "text": "hey!"
  },
  {
    "start": 1251.14,
    "end": 1253.74,
    "text": "We are gonna see baby brother-baby sister on the screen."
  },
  {
    "start": 1254.66,
    "end": 1256.4,
    "text": "It's gonna be great appointment as me."
  },
  {
    "start": 1256.6,
    "end": 1257.12,
    "text": "so fun."
  },
  {
    "start": 1257.16,
    "end": 1262.44,
    "text": "Go in ultrasound technicians starts doing the measurements talking to us."
  },
  {
    "start": 1262.52,
    "end": 1263.26,
    "text": "There's a heartbeat."
  },
  {
    "start": 1263.32,
    "end": 1264.82,
    "text": "We're super excited, right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1265.0,
    "end": 1271.74,
    "text": "You know our son is like cool and then he's distracted with all The things of the room when it's trying to manage him And kind of the chaos."
  },
  {
    "start": 1271.86,
    "end": 1277.98,
    "text": "imagine him we don't recognize that the ultrasound technician Who has become a friend of ours."
  },
  {
    "start": 1278.56,
    "end": 1281.22,
    "text": "she keeps measuring the back at the fitness of his neck."
  },
  {
    "start": 1281.9,
    "end": 1285.8,
    "text": "It just keeps measure taking this same measurement over an over and over again."
  },
  {
    "start": 1286.9,
    "end": 1292.06,
    "text": "And so she's kind of moves to the next part of the exam and She says you're gonna do genetic testing."
  },
  {
    "start": 1293.04,
    "end": 1294.6,
    "text": "Then we said yes, we're going too."
  },
  {
    "start": 1295.0,
    "end": 1298.22,
    "text": "You know our personal conviction is that life happens at conception."
  },
  {
    "start": 1298.84,
    "end": 1299.94,
    "text": "So it's not a change what?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1300.0,
    "end": 1303.74,
    "text": "We'd be with this pregnancy But it would inform us if we need to know something."
  },
  {
    "start": 1304.52,
    "end": 1307.86,
    "text": "and she said okay I did have good idea Yeah, and we didn't think anything up."
  },
  {
    "start": 1307.9,
    "end": 1316.12,
    "text": "It was fast for send-a-send little small waiting room which several your audience members have sat in."
  },
  {
    "start": 1316.72,
    "end": 1321.0,
    "text": "But they said in that ring, not knowing there about to get news it will change their life."
  },
  {
    "start": 1322.36,
    "end": 1324.08,
    "text": "And her doctor walks and she's just mackering."
  },
  {
    "start": 1324.12,
    "end": 1326.72,
    "text": "Hannah There are some abnormalities on the ultrasound."
  },
  {
    "start": 1326.8,
    "end": 1330.58,
    "text": "I didn't hear a ton after that word."
  },
  {
    "start": 1331.52,
    "end": 1334.98,
    "text": "That word kind of rung into my head for long time."
  },
  {
    "start": 1336.9,
    "end": 1339.4,
    "text": "It was lots of tears Lots of confusion."
  },
  {
    "start": 1339.86,
    "end": 1350.54,
    "text": "She started telling us back at the neck The fitness that our ultrasound technician kept measuring is a tell-tale sign of a trisomy diagnosis."
  },
  {
    "start": 1351.7,
    "end": 1357.06,
    "text": "So, Trisomy the one that most people understand it's Down syndrome."
  },
  {
    "start": 1359.54,
    "end": 1361.64,
    "text": "It's an extra twenty first chromosome."
  },
  {
    "start": 1362.12,
    "end": 1367.7,
    "text": "you should have two One for mom and one from dad...it's an Extra Twenty First Chromosome."
  },
  {
    "start": 1367.8,
    "end": 1370.42,
    "text": "so Trisomie Twenty One is Down syndrome."
  },
  {
    "start": 1370.56,
    "end": 1376.58,
    "text": "Normally thats not a lethal diagnosis because we know many people will know of folks with Down syndrome."
  },
  {
    "start": 1376.76,
    "end": 1386.24,
    "text": "We have found what were diagnosed was Trasomy-III, so Trasimy-III and Trasamy-III is a lot of medical terms."
  },
  {
    "start": 1386.38,
    "end": 1388.46,
    "text": "it's just... It's a lethal diagnosis."
  },
  {
    "start": 1389.38,
    "end": 1393.52,
    "text": "So if the child makes it to term rarely do they ever leave the hospital."
  },
  {
    "start": 1393.94,
    "end": 1397.14,
    "text": "Is that your audience kind needs to know?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1400.72,
    "end": 1401.92,
    "text": "We got genetic testing."
  },
  {
    "start": 1402.0,
    "end": 1404.14,
    "text": "It had to wait about ten days, hear back from it."
  },
  {
    "start": 1404.38,
    "end": 1420.08,
    "text": "Normally that genetic testing takes a few weeks and then rush the work of it for us was... And we stood on our back porch with our eighteen month old son holding hands all in speakerphone and our doctor said hey yeah try something thirteen your son is not gonna survive."
  },
  {
    "start": 1421.9,
    "end": 1425.98,
    "text": "obviously you know we break down were crying or holding each other up."
  },
  {
    "start": 1426.1,
    "end": 1427.68,
    "text": "son doesn't know what's going on."
  },
  {
    "start": 1430.16,
    "end": 1435.18,
    "text": "We just started looking at our life to say, okay What is going to be our story?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1436.32,
    "end": 1438.16,
    "text": "Because this is not the story that we wanted."
  },
  {
    "start": 1439.04,
    "end": 1446.86,
    "text": "Right when I look back over Back in two thousand and ten When i told my wife who was then My friend he was becoming."
  },
  {
    "start": 1446.9,
    "end": 1451.9,
    "text": "My girlfriend That i liked her Like This Was Not on my bingo card."
  },
  {
    "start": 1452.22,
    "end": 1452.42,
    "text": "right."
  },
  {
    "start": 1452.46,
    "end": 1455.38,
    "text": "this Is not on The horizon that i saw for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 1455.58,
    "end": 1460.54,
    "text": "but we Started Looking And Praying And Asking God like Okay Got water What are you doing?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1460.64,
    "end": 1469.26,
    "text": "And we felt a real strong conviction to speak truth over us."
  },
  {
    "start": 1469.6,
    "end": 1477.7,
    "text": "We didn't always fully believe it, but we knew that was impactful right."
  },
  {
    "start": 1477.76,
    "end": 1481.18,
    "text": "so were going be transformed by the renewal of our mind."
  },
  {
    "start": 1482.3,
    "end": 1484.04,
    "text": "Scripture says though...we're gonna do that daily!"
  },
  {
    "start": 1484.34,
    "end": 1493.58,
    "text": "That there's lot of neuroscience research which shows edification neural pathways and the ways that you to do That daily."
  },
  {
    "start": 1493.76,
    "end": 1499.54,
    "text": "The long-term impact it has on your thinking in your beliefs And your overall mental state."
  },
  {
    "start": 1499.78,
    "end": 1501.0,
    "text": "so we just said hey, what are we?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1501.32,
    "end": 1502.7,
    "text": "What are young two to do?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1503.9,
    "end": 1517.56,
    "text": "So I look back over my life My dad when I went to college But that's one of the anchors in my life a fate for men of faith which I pray will be from my sons."
  },
  {
    "start": 1518.74,
    "end": 1524.2,
    "text": "then looked back over middle school, high school having friends over even in the college."
  },
  {
    "start": 1524.96,
    "end": 1531.06,
    "text": "Having friends at my parents' house with my dad always read his Bible and so friends would know."
  },
  {
    "start": 1531.64,
    "end": 1538.32,
    "text": "if they got up early enough They would see my Dad In his chair With a cup of coffee reading this Bible."
  },
  {
    "start": 1539.08,
    "end": 1540.16,
    "text": "it was not performative."
  },
  {
    "start": 1540.6,
    "end": 1542.26,
    "text": "He's not posting any dental social media."
  },
  {
    "start": 1542.78,
    "end": 1544.18,
    "text": "he's not taking ads out on paper."
  },
  {
    "start": 1544.3,
    "end": 1545.6,
    "text": "Hey I read my bible again today."
  },
  {
    "start": 1546.16,
    "end": 1552.98,
    "text": "It was just knowing...he fell in love with Lord deeply in college, and he fell in love with reading of his Word."
  },
  {
    "start": 1553.82,
    "end": 1554.76,
    "text": "He sat under Dr."
  },
  {
    "start": 1554.82,
    "end": 1558.7,
    "text": "Charles Stanley at Atlanta Georgia Under His Teaching And Dr."
  },
  {
    "start": 1558.76,
    "end": 1561.24,
    "text": "Charlie Stanley said if you want to know God read his work?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1561.6,
    "end": 1569.34,
    "text": "So as a nineteen-year old young man, he said okay I'm gonna start reading God's word because imma read it so fast forward."
  },
  {
    "start": 1569.42,
    "end": 1572.24,
    "text": "when i go To College my dad gives me A one year Bible."
  },
  {
    "start": 1572.32,
    "end": 1575.48,
    "text": "Then he Said hey have been Reading Through This I Want You to Have It."
  },
  {
    "start": 1576.24,
    "end": 1581.1,
    "text": "If You Wanna Know God Read His Word Know you love God, but if he really want to know we read his word."
  },
  {
    "start": 1582.14,
    "end": 1583.92,
    "text": "and so I just started reading this work."
  },
  {
    "start": 1584.72,
    "end": 1587.68,
    "text": "So Fast forward into college."
  },
  {
    "start": 1588.44,
    "end": 1594.98,
    "text": "I'm going through Job for one of my first times reading through Joe Fascinating story in the Old Testament."
  },
  {
    "start": 1595.02,
    "end": 1597.56,
    "text": "if your audience is not familiar with it right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1597.62,
    "end": 1600.12,
    "text": "This may go through intense suffering."
  },
  {
    "start": 1601.52,
    "end": 1603.16,
    "text": "There's lots that she pulled out about."
  },
  {
    "start": 1603.62,
    "end": 1612.6,
    "text": "one of things always amazed me as It gets at this point in job story And he says, even though you slay me yet while I pray to you."
  },
  {
    "start": 1613.46,
    "end": 1613.66,
    "text": "Yeah."
  },
  {
    "start": 1613.94,
    "end": 1615.96,
    "text": "Shaniee Shane wrote a great song about this."
  },
  {
    "start": 1616.08,
    "end": 1618.56,
    "text": "if there's A lot of cool resources out here that does"
  },
  {
    "start": 1619.0,
    "end": 1619.9,
    "text": "it one my favorite songs?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1620.54,
    "end": 1622.14,
    "text": "One of all time favorite songs."
  },
  {
    "start": 1622.92,
    "end": 1624.34,
    "text": "and so I looked at."
  },
  {
    "start": 1624.6,
    "end": 1624.96,
    "text": "I looked At."
  },
  {
    "start": 1625.02,
    "end": 1626.92,
    "text": "My wife was staying on the back porch."
  },
  {
    "start": 1628.2,
    "end": 1630.58,
    "text": "Then i said what is gonna be our story?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1632.38,
    "end": 1634.52,
    "text": "are we going To lean into Our faith?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1635.92,
    "end": 1637.3,
    "text": "Are We Gonna Lean Out Of Our Lake?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1638.16,
    "end": 1640.0,
    "text": "We have the ability to choose."
  },
  {
    "start": 1640.16,
    "end": 1640.58,
    "text": "It's not going."
  },
  {
    "start": 1640.64,
    "end": 1646.66,
    "text": "look pretty, we're gonna make tons of mistakes but in this moment we can make a choice."
  },
  {
    "start": 1646.82,
    "end": 1648.66,
    "text": "That is only thing that we can do."
  },
  {
    "start": 1649.94,
    "end": 1657.6,
    "text": "and so we just said Word was going lean on And our family slogan on that day became even though we wouldn't."
  },
  {
    "start": 1663.72,
    "end": 1670.7,
    "text": "And we just said, okay if were going to speak truth over our family What is that gonna look like?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1671.32,
    "end": 1672.7,
    "text": "and it became even though."
  },
  {
    "start": 1672.8,
    "end": 1679.2,
    "text": "Our son has dying We will still serve a word Even though we will be bereaved parents."
  },
  {
    "start": 1679.4,
    "end": 1682.78,
    "text": "We will continue to stay married even Though we're going to bury your son."
  },
  {
    "start": 1683.3,
    "end": 1688.16,
    "text": "We would still love other children Even though they are willing to go through intense laws."
  },
  {
    "start": 1688.58,
    "end": 1693.2,
    "text": "we will continue To seek after the Lord each other in serving others."
  },
  {
    "start": 1694.96,
    "end": 1696.54,
    "text": "It became this mental shift."
  },
  {
    "start": 1697.02,
    "end": 1697.08,
    "text": "so"
  },
  {
    "start": 1698.18,
    "end": 1698.34,
    "text": "Yeah,"
  },
  {
    "start": 1698.54,
    "end": 1703.02,
    "text": "there were days where I would say you know cast today's just really hard."
  },
  {
    "start": 1704.02,
    "end": 1705.14,
    "text": "And but even though we will."
  },
  {
    "start": 1706.42,
    "end": 1711.36,
    "text": "and it was the kind of reframing in my heart Of saying okay."
  },
  {
    "start": 1711.62,
    "end": 1715.66,
    "text": "This is this is the path that i'm going to continue To walk forward."
  },
  {
    "start": 1715.9,
    "end": 1721.0,
    "text": "they're many times I would Say not truly believe It But it Was Just Something That We Just Said."
  },
  {
    "start": 1721.08,
    "end": 1723.2,
    "text": "hey We're Just Gonna Speak This Over Ourselves."
  },
  {
    "start": 1723.46,
    "end": 1729.92,
    "text": "Well The Like You Said the Power of Being renewed by the transformer of our minds."
  },
  {
    "start": 1731.26,
    "end": 1732.3,
    "text": "The way our brains go."
  },
  {
    "start": 1732.48,
    "end": 1742.36,
    "text": "when we lean on to negative and things like fear, anxieties that the Lord tells us to give him or surrender it to Him."
  },
  {
    "start": 1742.6,
    "end": 1744.22,
    "text": "they begin to have control."
  },
  {
    "start": 1744.92,
    "end": 1748.66,
    "text": "so I'm sure there are people listening be like That's great."
  },
  {
    "start": 1748.94,
    "end": 1753.16,
    "text": "you did this before You know, you have the news."
  },
  {
    "start": 1753.34,
    "end": 1761.14,
    "text": "The news is heavy but you still have to walk through this pregnancy that your nose leading somewhere very specific...very definite."
  },
  {
    "start": 1762.54,
    "end": 1768.96,
    "text": "and then you get to that point-you guys bring the baby to full term which is powerful in itself."
  },
  {
    "start": 1769.34,
    "end": 1782.28,
    "text": "just saying yes to life and trusting the Lord with that life letting him be one who makes a decision on it because there's many people today what wouldn't do breaks my heart, and I know it breaks yours."
  },
  {
    "start": 1782.36,
    "end": 1783.64,
    "text": "And it breaks the Lord's heart."
  },
  {
    "start": 1783.72,
    "end": 1788.42,
    "text": "but tell me so God is taking you through this."
  },
  {
    "start": 1788.68,
    "end": 1789.84,
    "text": "your guys' hearts are broken."
  },
  {
    "start": 1791.16,
    "end": 1794.48,
    "text": "You're trying to trust him Trying to follow Him, trying to abide in Him."
  },
  {
    "start": 1795.66,
    "end": 1798.0,
    "text": "Now you're sitting there In a hospital."
  },
  {
    "start": 1799.34,
    "end": 1799.72,
    "text": "Take Me There."
  },
  {
    "start": 1799.96,
    "end": 1800.02,
    "text": "So"
  },
  {
    "start": 1800.14,
    "end": 1804.1,
    "text": "we go Through our pregnancy journey."
  },
  {
    "start": 1804.92,
    "end": 1806.2,
    "text": "Noah's continuing to grow."
  },
  {
    "start": 1806.94,
    "end": 1812.9,
    "text": "We're going to weekly ultrasound appointments, weekly doctor's appointments to check on his growth."
  },
  {
    "start": 1813.06,
    "end": 1815.3,
    "text": "Make sure that we're checking on Hannah's status."
  },
  {
    "start": 1815.9,
    "end": 1822.7,
    "text": "make sure she is okay seeing how he's progressing and after We get past the holidays."
  },
  {
    "start": 1823.08,
    "end": 1830.68,
    "text": "so you know learn in September or if go through the holidays You start having some of those difficult more difficult conversations."
  },
  {
    "start": 1831.66,
    "end": 1833.98,
    "text": "Practically that timeline work for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 1834.16,
    "end": 1836.92,
    "text": "it was just hey were going try be together as a family."
  },
  {
    "start": 1837.68,
    "end": 1838.9,
    "text": "We're going to go places."
  },
  {
    "start": 1838.96,
    "end": 1846.44,
    "text": "We are gonna watch movies, we will see Christmas lights... If this is the time that we get with a son of ours then he's best of team."
  },
  {
    "start": 1847.82,
    "end": 1856.8,
    "text": "After New Year we started meeting with the palliative care team and if you aren't familiar I was not at all before Noah's life."
  },
  {
    "start": 1857.82,
    "end": 1859.12,
    "text": "That's his team in the hospital."
  },
  {
    "start": 1859.22,
    "end": 1862.8,
    "text": "Not all hospitals have them but one in Athens."
  },
  {
    "start": 1862.88,
    "end": 1863.88,
    "text": "it's a large hospital."
  },
  {
    "start": 1864.8,
    "end": 1872.06,
    "text": "That team as a team of doctors and nurses the medical professionals that all they do is end-of-life care for kids."
  },
  {
    "start": 1873.38,
    "end": 1877.34,
    "text": "It's it's unbelievable."
  },
  {
    "start": 1877.42,
    "end": 1879.54,
    "text": "Call them if you have I'll know why."
  },
  {
    "start": 1880.7,
    "end": 1881.58,
    "text": "so, you know we go."
  },
  {
    "start": 1881.86,
    "end": 1882.2,
    "text": "when did?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1882.28,
    "end": 1890.3,
    "text": "We had this excruciating conversation And our neonatologist dr."
  },
  {
    "start": 1890.36,
    "end": 1890.84,
    "text": "Corona."
  },
  {
    "start": 1892.18,
    "end": 1893.16,
    "text": "He pulled me aside."
  },
  {
    "start": 1893.22,
    "end": 1896.36,
    "text": "he said hey Matthew can ask your question Right."
  },
  {
    "start": 1896.42,
    "end": 1911.3,
    "text": "So kind of like that old sage advice, he's inviting me to allow him to stick into my life and I can say no i'm good but just went through all of that And i said sure doc gran i'll be happy for you too."
  },
  {
    "start": 1912.1,
    "end": 1913.42,
    "text": "He said how is your mirror?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1913.52,
    "end": 1915.98,
    "text": "It's a lot things pretty good Like we've been together."
  },
  {
    "start": 1916.28,
    "end": 1916.76,
    "text": "at that time."
  },
  {
    "start": 1916.8,
    "end": 1927.72,
    "text": "We'd been between dating mirrors since she was my best friend and he said okay Okay so i've been doing this thirty five years And this goes one of two ways every time in my experience."
  },
  {
    "start": 1928.6,
    "end": 1932.24,
    "text": "This either drives you together, or this drives you apart."
  },
  {
    "start": 1933.2,
    "end": 1933.58,
    "text": "is no end."
  },
  {
    "start": 1933.72,
    "end": 1944.32,
    "text": "to me and Aaron it was just beautiful gift because In the midst of grief yourself your audience who know an intense season of grief You get into this fog."
  },
  {
    "start": 1945.48,
    "end": 1952.86,
    "text": "It's like everything around use kind of quality its confusing long-term plannings really difficult."
  },
  {
    "start": 1953.54,
    "end": 1955.46,
    "text": "It's like you kind of go and fight or flight."
  },
  {
    "start": 1955.52,
    "end": 1957.76,
    "text": "And it's, I'm trying to survive today."
  },
  {
    "start": 1958.34,
    "end": 1961.68,
    "text": "I'm not strategically planning a five year plan for my business on."
  },
  {
    "start": 1961.72,
    "end": 1978.5,
    "text": "my family are none of that but it was this really good gift that he gave me the kind of pool in my head above the clouds and say hey buddy i know what your working through is hard its going to get harder because Your deliveries coming soon?"
  },
  {
    "start": 1978.98,
    "end": 1983.34,
    "text": "You think this anticipatory grief that you're experiencing right now is hard."
  },
  {
    "start": 1983.5,
    "end": 1987.14,
    "text": "It is, but it's nothing like what's coming up at the hospital."
  },
  {
    "start": 1988.46,
    "end": 2003.7,
    "text": "so if you Lord willing want to be married ten years from now twenty years From now forty years from Now You need to know that decisions that you make mail Will impact you decades from now."
  },
  {
    "start": 2004.56,
    "end": 2011.28,
    "text": "Yeah and you need to Be very Very sensitive To The Way That You Engage As A Couple And Man."
  },
  {
    "start": 2011.42,
    "end": 2012.62,
    "text": "Was This Great Gift?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2013.04,
    "end": 2016.26,
    "text": "They say, hey we're gonna set some new ground walls which you can follow that a little bit."
  },
  {
    "start": 2017.18,
    "end": 2019.9,
    "text": "but We fast for March."
  },
  {
    "start": 2020.22,
    "end": 2022.74,
    "text": "our son was due couple weeks later in march."
  },
  {
    "start": 2022.82,
    "end": 2029.18,
    "text": "But my wife goes into labor March since so March fifth she did not feel great."
  },
  {
    "start": 2029.26,
    "end": 2030.24,
    "text": "neither one of us really slept."
  },
  {
    "start": 2030.3,
    "end": 2035.46,
    "text": "good Wake up the morning to mark six Kind of go about her days."
  },
  {
    "start": 2035.8,
    "end": 2038.82,
    "text": "She's doing March twenty if I believe like two weeks later."
  },
  {
    "start": 2039.76,
    "end": 2040.54,
    "text": "Yeah"
  },
  {
    "start": 2041.22,
    "end": 2044.9,
    "text": "I just wanted to say what you said, a gift that doctor coming in."
  },
  {
    "start": 2044.98,
    "end": 2055.38,
    "text": "But I was just thinking and i know You kind of touch on this In the book how good God is because not everyone gets time To prepare their hearts for grief?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2057.04,
    "end": 2060.219,
    "text": "It's like I said That mentioned one story Like it Just happens And your like."
  },
  {
    "start": 2060.84,
    "end": 2061.719,
    "text": "I'm here now What?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2061.76,
    "end": 2061.88,
    "text": "yeah?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2062.78,
    "end": 2072.44,
    "text": "So I think its pretty awesome Not very horrible and sad but The beauty that god Was able Walk with you guys like leading"
  },
  {
    "start": 2072.54,
    "end": 2072.699,
    "text": "up to."
  },
  {
    "start": 2072.84,
    "end": 2073.38,
    "text": "we serve."
  },
  {
    "start": 2073.679,
    "end": 2085.86,
    "text": "We serve a good God, we serve a merciful guy and god has been very, very merciful in Very, very good at my family's life even In the midst of the passing of my son."
  },
  {
    "start": 2086.04,
    "end": 2107.18,
    "text": "And I'm i'm very thankful for the preparation that got allowed us To have in all Of The stepping stones in My Life from childhood to high school, the college of faith big kind of faith moments for me that I've had things and disappointments challenges along."
  },
  {
    "start": 2107.24,
    "end": 2114.4,
    "text": "The way it strengthened my faith not weakened by fate That allowed me to learn to step out on my own fate."
  },
  {
    "start": 2115.32,
    "end": 2118.82,
    "text": "And so we go into the hospital on the morning of a seventh."
  },
  {
    "start": 2119.04,
    "end": 2122.56,
    "text": "you'd been up four Twenty something hours at this point."
  },
  {
    "start": 2122.62,
    "end": 2124.06,
    "text": "who didn't sleep tonight before?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2124.74,
    "end": 2129.32,
    "text": "When in the hospital early, you know driving a hospital quick because Hannah's like hey he's coming."
  },
  {
    "start": 2130.0,
    "end": 2132.72,
    "text": "I thought it was gonna be born into truck which thankfully He was not."
  },
  {
    "start": 2132.9,
    "end": 2135.04,
    "text": "and why so rock star get to the hospital."
  },
  {
    "start": 2135.4,
    "end": 2136.08,
    "text": "You know she's."
  },
  {
    "start": 2136.78,
    "end": 2138.06,
    "text": "There's a parking spot up front."
  },
  {
    "start": 2138.1,
    "end": 2140.32,
    "text": "that obviously never happens."
  },
  {
    "start": 2140.84,
    "end": 2143.9,
    "text": "We get in Like fifteen minutes later we're holding them."
  },
  {
    "start": 2144.12,
    "end": 2146.2,
    "text": "So unbelievable story."
  },
  {
    "start": 2146.42,
    "end": 2153.06,
    "text": "And we look back and we talk with our doctor if he said like The amount of time that we got within."
  },
  {
    "start": 2153.7,
    "end": 2157.46,
    "text": "So he was born March seventh in fifty seven and a half hours later."
  },
  {
    "start": 2157.52,
    "end": 2162.32,
    "text": "He took his life breath That those fifty seven-and-a-half hours were fifty seven."
  },
  {
    "start": 2162.36,
    "end": 2163.18,
    "text": "to have more hours."
  },
  {
    "start": 2163.28,
    "end": 2166.72,
    "text": "We fought reading get with him, you did not think we're gonna give that time within."
  },
  {
    "start": 2167.96,
    "end": 2169.0,
    "text": "When he was Born?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2169.14,
    "end": 2169.9,
    "text": "He was pretty blue."
  },
  {
    "start": 2170.26,
    "end": 2171.56,
    "text": "his lungs will underdevelop."
  },
  {
    "start": 2171.62,
    "end": 2173.24,
    "text": "there are several things internally."
  },
  {
    "start": 2173.76,
    "end": 2186.12,
    "text": "the Diagnosis it kind of been wrecking on his internal organs between his heart brain as long as his kidneys but we fall with as fast of delivery was, maybe we'll get a little bit of time within them."
  },
  {
    "start": 2186.42,
    "end": 2189.0,
    "text": "And actually it turned into fifty seven and half hours."
  },
  {
    "start": 2189.54,
    "end": 2191.38,
    "text": "but what was beautiful about it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2191.66,
    "end": 2195.08,
    "text": "one of many things We look back on God's mercy."
  },
  {
    "start": 2196.64,
    "end": 2199.52,
    "text": "Everybody remembers What happened in March of twenty-twenty right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2200.28,
    "end": 2206.14,
    "text": "So...we leave the hospital that afternoon evening to march nine March tenth."
  },
  {
    "start": 2206.32,
    "end": 2213.18,
    "text": "The Hospital on Athens closes for normal visitation Normal like It's peak COVID."
  },
  {
    "start": 2214.06,
    "end": 2227.72,
    "text": "So if our son had been born when he was due, we would have not like our family got to come and meeting or close friends from our community that a photographer coming in take pictures of us at him."
  },
  {
    "start": 2228.74,
    "end": 2236.48,
    "text": "this really these beautiful moments that we cherish what it'd be all taken away If you wouldn't have been born"
  },
  {
    "start": 2236.58,
    "end": 2237.04,
    "text": "let me just do."
  },
  {
    "start": 2237.76,
    "end": 2241.18,
    "text": "And so we look back on that We said God What A Good God You Are."
  },
  {
    "start": 2242.3,
    "end": 2243.36,
    "text": "We don't deserve that."
  },
  {
    "start": 2244.84,
    "end": 2245.08,
    "text": "We didn't."
  },
  {
    "start": 2245.12,
    "end": 2248.42,
    "text": "we don't desire extra time with him, we did deserve it."
  },
  {
    "start": 2248.5,
    "end": 2252.56,
    "text": "our family could meet him right but were given the opportunity"
  },
  {
    "start": 2253.36,
    "end": 2253.58,
    "text": "you know."
  },
  {
    "start": 2253.72,
    "end": 2257.92,
    "text": "and The first thing I thought about when he said You weren't expecting how much time in that?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2258.12,
    "end": 2261.52,
    "text": "He had way more hours than you knew thought you're gonna get."
  },
  {
    "start": 2262.32,
    "end": 2264.28,
    "text": "And just out of that scripture they just as like."
  },
  {
    "start": 2264.7,
    "end": 2265.72,
    "text": "no one knows a day or the hour."
  },
  {
    "start": 2266.26,
    "end": 2266.34,
    "text": "Yeah,"
  },
  {
    "start": 2266.76,
    "end": 2269.92,
    "text": "yeah, you know the Lord's return But also that no ones promised tomorrow."
  },
  {
    "start": 2270.56,
    "end": 2271.94,
    "text": "you know, that all we have is right now."
  },
  {
    "start": 2272.98,
    "end": 2278.82,
    "text": "and I just think about the beauty that every hour you had was a gift."
  },
  {
    "start": 2279.84,
    "end": 2283.6,
    "text": "Every hour you got was more than what you expected or thought you deserved."
  },
  {
    "start": 2283.84,
    "end": 2287.86,
    "text": "You're like... We were told he's gonna not survive."
  },
  {
    "start": 2287.9,
    "end": 2290.6,
    "text": "And here are two hours three hours ten hours."
  },
  {
    "start": 2291.38,
    "end": 2291.92,
    "text": "how beautiful this."
  },
  {
    "start": 2292.0,
    "end": 2299.48,
    "text": "but also to look at our own lives with our children and our families, to know that tomorrow is literally promised a no one."
  },
  {
    "start": 2300.74,
    "end": 2308.16,
    "text": "We're not owed waking up in the morning like it every day as blessing everyday's gift Every breath we take."
  },
  {
    "start": 2308.96,
    "end": 2313.7,
    "text": "And so you got experience with your second son."
  },
  {
    "start": 2315.98,
    "end": 2324.72,
    "text": "It's hard truth To acknowledge That I don't deserve what i deserve."
  },
  {
    "start": 2326.3,
    "end": 2332.4,
    "text": "What I deserve, what I have earned is eternal separation from God."
  },
  {
    "start": 2332.92,
    "end": 2333.92,
    "text": "Yeah...I"
  },
  {
    "start": 2334.0,
    "end": 2343.38,
    "text": "have sinned many times willfully that-that i have chosen to choose my own path rather than god's path for me."
  },
  {
    "start": 2344.36,
    "end": 2349.72,
    "text": "That I have chosen wrong when I knew right or wrong and the wages of sin as death?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2349.82,
    "end": 2350.88,
    "text": "I deserve!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2351.14,
    "end": 2353.32,
    "text": "I've fallen short with the glory of God."
  },
  {
    "start": 2353.82,
    "end": 2356.14,
    "text": "Yep, we all have but our feet for myself."
  },
  {
    "start": 2356.22,
    "end": 2357.38,
    "text": "I have fallen short."
  },
  {
    "start": 2358.3,
    "end": 2359.46,
    "text": "So when i look at what?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2359.64,
    "end": 2361.78,
    "text": "I measure up to you What I deserve."
  },
  {
    "start": 2362.0,
    "end": 2364.54,
    "text": "I deserve To be eternally separated from God."
  },
  {
    "start": 2364.68,
    "end": 2371.44,
    "text": "and then a look At what I've been given in the person of Jesus Christ And he who knew no sin."
  },
  {
    "start": 2371.54,
    "end": 2391.98,
    "text": "Became sense so that You and I might become The righteousness Of god That He lived the life that I couldn't died the death that I deserved In rose three days later so that I could say, while I deserve death and separation what i've been given is life in reunion."
  },
  {
    "start": 2393.0,
    "end": 2393.2,
    "text": "Yeah!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2393.94,
    "end": 2398.86,
    "text": "And it's just a beautiful place for me to acknowledge man."
  },
  {
    "start": 2398.94,
    "end": 2404.34,
    "text": "the gospel changes them... The Gospel transforms the way that I look at heaven."
  },
  {
    "start": 2406.0,
    "end": 2408.62,
    "text": "So do I want more time with my son?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2409.3,
    "end": 2410.42,
    "text": "Absolutely!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2413.06,
    "end": 2415.48,
    "text": "I had somebody ask me, you know what would You give?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2416.58,
    "end": 2417.0,
    "text": "What Would you?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2417.5,
    "end": 2421.62,
    "text": "is there amount of money that you would Give to be able To see your son."
  },
  {
    "start": 2421.7,
    "end": 2422.18,
    "text": "like i said."
  },
  {
    "start": 2422.46,
    "end": 2434.74,
    "text": "There's nothing in my life outside Of My faith My wife and my other children That i would not give up to Be able to spend one more minute with him on this side of eternity."
  },
  {
    "start": 2435.42,
    "end": 2440.9,
    "text": "Nothing Is More valuable than that but i'm reminded of what do i deserve?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2442.1,
    "end": 2442.94,
    "text": "It is nothing."
  },
  {
    "start": 2444.04,
    "end": 2454.12,
    "text": "And so when I take that as an acknowledgement, I can go into this relationship with the Son of Mine and I could say okay God...I did not deserve Him!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2455.16,
    "end": 2456.96,
    "text": "...and yet you still gave him to me?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2458.1,
    "end": 2460.46,
    "text": "You still gave Me The Blessing Of Being Noah's"
  },
  {
    "start": 2460.54,
    "end": 2460.82,
    "text": "Dad?!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2460.86,
    "end": 2466.3,
    "text": "You gave ME THE BELESSING OF BEING NOAH'S DAD for a few days here on"
  },
  {
    "start": 2466.42,
    "end": 2466.68,
    "text": "Earth?!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2467.44,
    "end": 2480.54,
    "text": "YOU Gave ME THE BLESSING TO BEING HIS DAD And knowing that he was sick before He died, you gave me the blessing of knowing That I could start to process through what it looked like To be a bereaved dad Before i had become."
  },
  {
    "start": 2480.66,
    "end": 2481.5,
    "text": "and then yeah."
  },
  {
    "start": 2481.94,
    "end": 2492.46,
    "text": "I journaled a lot this The book even though we will as the book that wrote about our journey Through child loss A journal through its foundation for the book Was writing on Noah's fifth birthday?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2492.5,
    "end": 2499.36,
    "text": "I was writing grieving thinking through mourning All of the things that my son Noah did not get to experience."
  },
  {
    "start": 2500.62,
    "end": 2525.08,
    "text": "The baseball game, the scratches on the knees, learning how to ride a bike, throwing a baseball catching fish going hunting plate building forts all of the thing's I got riding and I got towards end of my journal page And I wrote no one never experienced me letting him bet Put my pen down gonna start weeping."
  },
  {
    "start": 2526.52,
    "end": 2528.26,
    "text": "I said, God you're such a good god."
  },
  {
    "start": 2528.44,
    "end": 2529.36,
    "text": "Don't deserve that huh?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2529.64,
    "end": 2533.8,
    "text": "I don't deserve to have this unique relationship with the Son of Mine!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2534.32,
    "end": 2546.84,
    "text": "I had four amazing sons...I may deeply fault me and it didn't take me losing a son to realize them but i have this one sign of mine..i was fully present for his life."
  },
  {
    "start": 2548.04,
    "end": 2550.36,
    "text": "I Was there when he took His first breath."
  },
  {
    "start": 2551.04,
    "end": 2552.38,
    "text": "I held him as He took his last."
  },
  {
    "start": 2552.42,
    "end": 2556.78,
    "text": "I was there, didn't...I never let him down."
  },
  {
    "start": 2556.92,
    "end": 2566.34,
    "text": "And look on that experience and say okay God you are God and I am not in your ways or higher than my way's and your faults were harder then my fault."
  },
  {
    "start": 2566.94,
    "end": 2575.1,
    "text": "and though My circumstances have changed your character has not and i'm gonna default to my highest level of training and That is that?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2575.16,
    "end": 2578.2,
    "text": "You're the same today as you were yesterdays will be tomorrow."
  },
  {
    "start": 2579.34,
    "end": 2582.3,
    "text": "I'm just going to trust even when it hurts you are good."
  },
  {
    "start": 2583.0,
    "end": 2586.1,
    "text": "Even when I don't understand, i will trust"
  },
  {
    "start": 2591.7,
    "end": 2591.76,
    "text": "you."
  },
  {
    "start": 2595.9,
    "end": 2607.46,
    "text": "That's where we land You know?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2611.58,
    "end": 2621.26,
    "text": "Hugh comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort which we ourselves, or comforted by God."
  },
  {
    "start": 2622.22,
    "end": 2629.88,
    "text": "So you have a unique ability to comfort other believers and other non-believers soaked into gospel."
  },
  {
    "start": 2634.32,
    "end": 2637.78,
    "text": "So even though I don't have that story, your-your story is my story."
  },
  {
    "start": 2638.12,
    "end": 2643.62,
    "text": "It's our story and the body of Christ And it's so encouraging in something you're sharing about your son."
  },
  {
    "start": 2646.22,
    "end": 2648.26,
    "text": "Just an awesome thing to remember."
  },
  {
    "start": 2648.56,
    "end": 2652.68,
    "text": "as Often we were so tunnel vision on our own"
  },
  {
    "start": 2652.74,
    "end": 2653.08,
    "text": "lives."
  },
  {
    "start": 2654.24,
    "end": 2657.28,
    "text": "We see her own story and its like the biggest story to us."
  },
  {
    "start": 2658.62,
    "end": 2663.46,
    "text": "Sure My wife and i...we were having our... gosh is she our fourth?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2663.94,
    "end": 2666.74,
    "text": "Yeah Elliot, all of Wyatt, Truett, Edith."
  },
  {
    "start": 2666.8,
    "end": 2666.92,
    "text": "Yeah."
  },
  {
    "start": 2667.44,
    "end": 2670.12,
    "text": "Edith on March twentieth"
  },
  {
    "start": 2670.68,
    "end": 2670.92,
    "text": "twenty-twenty."
  },
  {
    "start": 2670.96,
    "end": 2671.02,
    "text": "Okay?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2671.6,
    "end": 2677.34,
    "text": "So you... On the other side of the country are experiencing your story."
  },
  {
    "start": 2677.46,
    "end": 2690.92,
    "text": "we're experiencing our story and it just makes me think that were to weep with those who weep To rejoice for those who rejoice in That We can have both stories simultaneously."
  },
  {
    "start": 2691.0,
    "end": 2691.46,
    "text": "It's amazing."
  },
  {
    "start": 2691.5,
    "end": 2698.32,
    "text": "how God does that Because I didn't know about you back then, and hearing your story now would have loved to been there to mourn with you."
  },
  {
    "start": 2700.88,
    "end": 2708.66,
    "text": "But it's awesome seeing God moving in all of our stories simultaneously for very different reasons."
  },
  {
    "start": 2710.32,
    "end": 2711.42,
    "text": "It is why we need each other!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2712.26,
    "end": 2719.38,
    "text": "I NEED YOUR STORY TO TEACH ME because my empathy muscles need stretching all the time."
  },
  {
    "start": 2721.2,
    "end": 2723.9,
    "text": "you know, dealing with people are going through suffering."
  },
  {
    "start": 2724.7,
    "end": 2727.2,
    "text": "Learning how to grieve with them learning How'd it be?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2727.3,
    "end": 2727.64,
    "text": "With him."
  },
  {
    "start": 2728.24,
    "end": 2734.96,
    "text": "You mentioned something in your book about that listening In someone's grief and not just trying the fix."
  },
  {
    "start": 2735.16,
    "end": 2739.88,
    "text": "I'm not Just Trying To You Know Lift Up And Like Well Just Let's Just Cheer Up."
  },
  {
    "start": 2739.96,
    "end": 2741.12,
    "text": "No like Actually That'S Not."
  },
  {
    "start": 2741.16,
    "end": 2742.6,
    "text": "That'S NOT The Medicine Right Now."
  },
  {
    "start": 2742.64,
    "end": 2752.34,
    "text": "The medicine Is Presence And That'S Something That i've Been Learning Over The Last Handful Years With various Friends Of Mine That Are Going Through Things that I can never understand."
  },
  {
    "start": 2753.1,
    "end": 2753.96,
    "text": "Yeah, you look at you."
  },
  {
    "start": 2754.04,
    "end": 2756.0,
    "text": "Look it's Job's life right again."
  },
  {
    "start": 2756.08,
    "end": 2763.26,
    "text": "we mentioned Joe Old Testament but yeah job has these friends That show up with them."
  },
  {
    "start": 2764.1,
    "end": 2769.22,
    "text": "Yep and i believe the way he pronounced a word is Shiva In The Hebrew where?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2769.28,
    "end": 2773.82,
    "text": "You come in you sit to someone in the morning And you just sit within."
  },
  {
    "start": 2773.86,
    "end": 2775.0,
    "text": "They"
  },
  {
    "start": 2775.12,
    "end": 2776.82,
    "text": "did say four days or something like this"
  },
  {
    "start": 2776.86,
    "end": 2780.38,
    "text": "didn't see beautiful representation of what it should be."
  },
  {
    "start": 2780.7,
    "end": 2783.76,
    "text": "because then Job's friends, if you read the rest of Job."
  },
  {
    "start": 2783.82,
    "end": 2786.28,
    "text": "they open their mouth and everything comes unglued."
  },
  {
    "start": 2786.6,
    "end": 2786.74,
    "text": "Right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2786.78,
    "end": 2791.16,
    "text": "They try to tell Job how to feel what to do and how to interact with God."
  },
  {
    "start": 2792.28,
    "end": 2793.74,
    "text": "that is not there role."
  },
  {
    "start": 2795.04,
    "end": 2798.76,
    "text": "Their Role Is To Be There With Them."
  },
  {
    "start": 2799.08,
    "end": 2812.18,
    "text": "I talk about in a book That What Somebody Needs In A Season Of Grief Is Not Your Words And Eat Your Presence Man, I had meant in my life again like we just deployed our community."
  },
  {
    "start": 2812.88,
    "end": 2816.86,
    "text": "We have that in place Had mentors so they'd have to go find them."
  },
  {
    "start": 2817.74,
    "end": 2821.28,
    "text": "I had community a Community group at a church by like."
  },
  {
    "start": 2821.76,
    "end": 2823.3,
    "text": "how was already?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2823.48,
    "end": 2833.96,
    "text": "had a lot of the tools quote-unquote my toolbox That you would want to navigate but intent season approved But I hadn't been in my wife."
  },
  {
    "start": 2834.04,
    "end": 2834.94,
    "text": "it came alongside me."
  },
  {
    "start": 2836.16,
    "end": 2839.48,
    "text": "They said hey love you Anytime you want to talk about it."
  },
  {
    "start": 2839.52,
    "end": 2839.82,
    "text": "We're here."
  },
  {
    "start": 2840.68,
    "end": 2842.2,
    "text": "Well, we're just gonna show up for You?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2843.28,
    "end": 2847.66,
    "text": "We're going take your lunch when I'm taking the coffee and then take in play golf or can't take you hunting?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2848.42,
    "end": 2850.42,
    "text": "We'll get taken a gym where this is good at."
  },
  {
    "start": 2850.74,
    "end": 2854.34,
    "text": "were Gonna bring you alongside us And we're gonna do some shoulder-to-shoulder time."
  },
  {
    "start": 2854.38,
    "end": 2859.06,
    "text": "Then we're going to be here with you and we want you to know any Time."
  },
  {
    "start": 2859.1,
    "end": 2860.98,
    "text": "you won't talk about her for all years."
  },
  {
    "start": 2861.88,
    "end": 2862.74,
    "text": "It's a safe place."
  },
  {
    "start": 2862.78,
    "end": 2865.0,
    "text": "need from share scary ideas with us."
  },
  {
    "start": 2865.6,
    "end": 2868.42,
    "text": "you can share not fully formed ideas with us."
  },
  {
    "start": 2868.66,
    "end": 2871.94,
    "text": "You can ask those questions, you could be upset or excited."
  },
  {
    "start": 2872.6,
    "end": 2877.14,
    "text": "whatever your feeling and feel we're going to hear from them."
  },
  {
    "start": 2877.2,
    "end": 2879.82,
    "text": "We just want being with absolutely great gift."
  },
  {
    "start": 2880.64,
    "end": 2885.3,
    "text": "The ones that were not helpful Were the people who gave me drive-by advice."
  },
  {
    "start": 2885.6,
    "end": 2889.1,
    "text": "It's like hey I haven't talked in ten years."
  },
  {
    "start": 2889.16,
    "end": 2898.88,
    "text": "i will drive by a little drop you this comment on facebook Or i'll leave you text message or send you voice note And I will give you the advice of how you should feel, How You Should Interact With God."
  },
  {
    "start": 2899.28,
    "end": 2900.5,
    "text": "That you should be mad at god."
  },
  {
    "start": 2900.58,
    "end": 2903.54,
    "text": "whatever it is...you've not sat with me in this AT ALL!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2905.6,
    "end": 2907.38,
    "text": "Why don't you come and sit for a little bit?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2909.06,
    "end": 2910.3,
    "text": "Don't try to make This Better."
  },
  {
    "start": 2911.82,
    "end": 2921.24,
    "text": "My son Is Dying..You're Not Going To Make That Better But YOU CAN SIT WITH ME IN IT AND YOU CAN Acknowledge THAT THIS IS HARD."
  },
  {
    "start": 2922.56,
    "end": 2925.16,
    "text": "YOU CAN acknowledge that THIS IS NOT THE WAY IT WAS MENT TO BE."
  },
  {
    "start": 2926.64,
    "end": 2934.52,
    "text": "I want to be here with them and i wanna be alongside you when your ready ask questions or discuss."
  },
  {
    "start": 2934.88,
    "end": 2935.46,
    "text": "Im here for you."
  },
  {
    "start": 2937.24,
    "end": 2940.04,
    "text": "And along the way im gonna do some practical things for ya."
  },
  {
    "start": 2940.12,
    "end": 2948.66,
    "text": "I'm going to cut the grass, I will pressure wash the house , bring you food... Don't just randomly kidnap kids please dont."
  },
  {
    "start": 2949.04,
    "end": 2951.42,
    "text": "But ill take your kids to a park with my kids right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2951.46,
    "end": 2951.78,
    "text": "You gotta"
  },
  {
    "start": 2952.0,
    "end": 2953.24,
    "text": "really good friends of someone."
  },
  {
    "start": 2953.34,
    "end": 2953.52,
    "text": "Yeah!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2953.64,
    "end": 2954.34,
    "text": "Really good friends."
  },
  {
    "start": 2955.08,
    "end": 2956.7,
    "text": "but we had friends who would do that."
  },
  {
    "start": 2957.08,
    "end": 2959.08,
    "text": "They'd say, hey Matthew and Hannah we're gonna come to your house."
  },
  {
    "start": 2959.88,
    "end": 2960.12,
    "text": "We're going."
  },
  {
    "start": 2960.16,
    "end": 2961.32,
    "text": "let y'all go on a date night."
  },
  {
    "start": 2961.4,
    "end": 2967.46,
    "text": "When you've come home all the laundry would be done The house will clean And Walker or older son You'll be in bed."
  },
  {
    "start": 2968.58,
    "end": 2970.3,
    "text": "That sounds amazing."
  },
  {
    "start": 2971.08,
    "end": 2971.14,
    "text": "Yeah!"
  },
  {
    "start": 2971.2,
    "end": 2975.16,
    "text": "I mean we may just sit In the parking cry Or maybe have dinner."
  },
  {
    "start": 2975.24,
    "end": 2980.68,
    "text": "Have a great time Don't know what were gonna do But give us space To be in."
  },
  {
    "start": 2980.74,
    "end": 2983.64,
    "text": "that was super helpful for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 2984.24,
    "end": 2987.9,
    "text": "Like practical sense A lot of times people Want to know like hey, what can I do?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2988.74,
    "end": 2990.92,
    "text": "Somebody in my small group just got this diagnosis."
  },
  {
    "start": 2990.96,
    "end": 2992.04,
    "text": "Like how can i love them?"
  },
  {
    "start": 2992.16,
    "end": 2999.48,
    "text": "well send them food Send then gift cards And and don't miss the little things."
  },
  {
    "start": 2999.68,
    "end": 3003.56,
    "text": "so we we love to cut people's grass You know."
  },
  {
    "start": 3003.62,
    "end": 3011.16,
    "text": "get them laundry service Get their house clean like all of those things amazing gifts very tangible practical Things."
  },
  {
    "start": 3011.2,
    "end": 3012.52,
    "text": "you continue."
  },
  {
    "start": 3012.6,
    "end": 3016.68,
    "text": "Then last one that a lot talk about is if they have any surviving kids."
  },
  {
    "start": 3017.7,
    "end": 3027.94,
    "text": "So any kids that are not directly impacted by this diagnosis level them with Because depending on their age like they're gonna go through it to you."
  },
  {
    "start": 3029.22,
    "end": 3033.82,
    "text": "And oftentimes, there the ones who get overlooked and They're still a kid."
  },
  {
    "start": 3034.6,
    "end": 3035.76,
    "text": "There's still a teenager there."
  },
  {
    "start": 3036.1,
    "end": 3046.38,
    "text": "They're so whatever Their season in life is They're trying to navigate life too In all of the chaos and messiness of life and also losing the city."
  },
  {
    "start": 3046.46,
    "end": 3051.48,
    "text": "And so those friends were just super, super impactful for us."
  },
  {
    "start": 3052.44,
    "end": 3052.78,
    "text": "Yeah"
  },
  {
    "start": 3053.18,
    "end": 3073.24,
    "text": "it's important in any stage of life as a believer to be in true Christian fellowship and not just having service level relationships but people who really know us that we see all the dirty laundry relationships."
  },
  {
    "start": 3073.66,
    "end": 3078.54,
    "text": "We be that person, it's where we're supposed to be as Christians like were not to be islands floating around you know?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3078.58,
    "end": 3080.86,
    "text": "Were not supposed to separated its unwise."
  },
  {
    "start": 3081.36,
    "end": 3082.5,
    "text": "what advice do have?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3082.68,
    "end": 3090.96,
    "text": "there is a kind of an end on this note because suffering and tragedy often tries trying define us."
  },
  {
    "start": 3091.3,
    "end": 3097.32,
    "text": "rather than I'm Jesus following believer i am the son god thats which should define."
  },
  {
    "start": 3097.48,
    "end": 3098.96,
    "text": "but theres so many things in our life."
  },
  {
    "start": 3102.54,
    "end": 3107.22,
    "text": "How did God teach you and your wife to allow this season?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3107.26,
    "end": 3108.7,
    "text": "Because it exists."
  },
  {
    "start": 3108.74,
    "end": 3112.4,
    "text": "You can't pretend that doesn't exist or act like it didn't exist, It happened."
  },
  {
    "start": 3113.7,
    "end": 3125.26,
    "text": "but not define every conversation because other people are also going through something And we have the nature of trying compare sufferings."
  },
  {
    "start": 3125.84,
    "end": 3125.9,
    "text": "Yeah"
  },
  {
    "start": 3127.42,
    "end": 3129.7,
    "text": "I know that's just kind as natural."
  },
  {
    "start": 3131.54,
    "end": 3132.9,
    "text": "Learn to navigate that too."
  },
  {
    "start": 3133.36,
    "end": 3147.78,
    "text": "so other people in your life are going through something hard, not the same kind of suffering and you learn to love them without minimizing or comparing."
  },
  {
    "start": 3148.4,
    "end": 3149.02,
    "text": "Does it make sense?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3149.72,
    "end": 3150.18,
    "text": "It does!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3151.08,
    "end": 3159.56,
    "text": "Let me start with this... This is a verse that meant a tremendous amount to me."
  },
  {
    "start": 3159.74,
    "end": 3160.82,
    "text": "that changed my perspective."
  },
  {
    "start": 3160.94,
    "end": 3162.84,
    "text": "Therefore, we do not lose heart though."
  },
  {
    "start": 3163.02,
    "end": 3173.92,
    "text": "outwardly were wasting away yet inwardly will be renewed day by day for our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory but far outweighs them all."
  },
  {
    "start": 3174.6,
    "end": 3176.58,
    "text": "so We fix our eyes not on what is seen."
  },
  {
    "start": 3177.14,
    "end": 3182.2,
    "text": "well What has unseen since what I've seen this temporary for was unseen as he turned."
  },
  {
    "start": 3182.32,
    "end": 3182.9,
    "text": "That's good one?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3183.42,
    "end": 3187.42,
    "text": "That's great And it can be unpacked Well beyond what we have time."
  },
  {
    "start": 3188.6,
    "end": 3194.04,
    "text": "But perspective that it gave me was to fix my eyes on eternal things."
  },
  {
    "start": 3194.36,
    "end": 3200.48,
    "text": "So I say that to say, I had to do that in my marriage personally before I could do that at other people."
  },
  {
    "start": 3201.28,
    "end": 3208.2,
    "text": "so i Had two and my marriage...I had to learn to ask better questions On the practical side."
  },
  {
    "start": 3208.46,
    "end": 3209.24,
    "text": "talk about a book."
  },
  {
    "start": 3209.7,
    "end": 3213.26,
    "text": "there's two questions We've learned asked eachother not married."
  },
  {
    "start": 3214.44,
    "end": 3215.94,
    "text": "You're walking through season of grief."
  },
  {
    "start": 3216.46,
    "end": 3219.28,
    "text": "We're trying to navigate this world together as a couple."
  },
  {
    "start": 3220.04,
    "end": 3220.24,
    "text": "Yeah,"
  },
  {
    "start": 3221.56,
    "end": 3231.74,
    "text": "neither one of us caused it but we are still both going through and so in the season of grief that siloed It's still impacts everything else."
  },
  {
    "start": 3231.9,
    "end": 3239.28,
    "text": "your life even though degree feels like its going really slow All other areas of you life continue me forward."
  },
  {
    "start": 3240.34,
    "end": 3247.28,
    "text": "You continued have to parent you continue to live take care of the house, pay bills and go to work."
  },
  {
    "start": 3247.42,
    "end": 3248.28,
    "text": "do all these things."
  },
  {
    "start": 3248.46,
    "end": 3250.74,
    "text": "Navigate life outside your grief"
  },
  {
    "start": 3250.88,
    "end": 3251.5,
    "text": "experience.\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 3251.68,
    "end": 3255.36,
    "text": "So what we did was asking, Hey are you okay?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3255.5,
    "end": 3256.66,
    "text": "Is something bothering like?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3257.22,
    "end": 3260.84,
    "text": "that's completely futile questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 3260.98,
    "end": 3266.14,
    "text": "Of course I'm not OK with sun styling but What We Learned To Ask Was Have i done Something That Sets You?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3267.76,
    "end": 3274.68,
    "text": "so in this relationship between you And Ironman Have I done something to wrong you?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3275.02,
    "end": 3276.44,
    "text": "If i have, I want them."
  },
  {
    "start": 3276.5,
    "end": 3278.04,
    "text": "live just in a healthy relationship."
  },
  {
    "start": 3278.28,
    "end": 3278.46,
    "text": "Right!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3278.64,
    "end": 3280.28,
    "text": "I wanna apologize."
  },
  {
    "start": 3280.44,
    "end": 3282.8,
    "text": "astrophorgiveness and secret substitution right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3283.46,
    "end": 3291.06,
    "text": "so this is the way that you're saying to distinguish The unspoken signals You're seeing."
  },
  {
    "start": 3291.64,
    "end": 3292.98,
    "text": "yeah So let me take it."
  },
  {
    "start": 3293.08,
    "end": 3294.28,
    "text": "Let Me Take It This thing"
  },
  {
    "start": 3294.38,
    "end": 3294.64,
    "text": "or Is"
  },
  {
    "start": 3295.28,
    "end": 3295.72,
    "text": "That's Me?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3296.04,
    "end": 3301.74,
    "text": "Yeah This is Hennan and I are interacting at home for eighteen month olds playing on the floor."
  },
  {
    "start": 3302.56,
    "end": 3303.84,
    "text": "I just get home from the office."
  },
  {
    "start": 3304.84,
    "end": 3310.48,
    "text": "If you ask me to take your trash out, and say yeah or take it down she's working on dinner playing with Walker."
  },
  {
    "start": 3310.88,
    "end": 3314.92,
    "text": "i'm kind of daydreaming in a flake...I don't get to do this with Noah."
  },
  {
    "start": 3315.26,
    "end": 3316.46,
    "text": "that's where my headspace is at."
  },
  {
    "start": 3316.6,
    "end": 3317.24,
    "text": "and Hannah says hey!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3317.36,
    "end": 3319.68,
    "text": "I could really use if you can go ahead and take the trash out like."
  },
  {
    "start": 3319.74,
    "end": 3321.58,
    "text": "That'd be really helpful for me..i got all this stuff."
  },
  {
    "start": 3321.68,
    "end": 3323.62,
    "text": "I need to be able throw away from there all this crap."
  },
  {
    "start": 3324.86,
    "end": 3333.88,
    "text": "And I snap when I see yard are getting taken up later Like its a. It's incongruent with my personality My kind of my core of who I am."
  },
  {
    "start": 3334.02,
    "end": 3335.1,
    "text": "I don't do that as a person."
  },
  {
    "start": 3336.24,
    "end": 3339.36,
    "text": "So instead of Hannah getting mad at me, she's more mature in the moment."
  },
  {
    "start": 3339.84,
    "end": 3344.82,
    "text": "She's more mature most of time but definitely in this moment She comes to me and says hey Matthew have i done something?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3344.86,
    "end": 3345.34,
    "text": "That sets you."
  },
  {
    "start": 3346.72,
    "end": 3351.36,
    "text": "It's a real gentle way for her To say Hey doofus like The way he just responded means not it's not great."
  },
  {
    "start": 3352.24,
    "end": 3366.58,
    "text": "You snap at me And and it was gave her the opportunity To see Me In My Hurt Because grief isolates you, it makes you feel like nobody sees you."
  },
  {
    "start": 3367.58,
    "end": 3373.88,
    "text": "I want to see you in your heart and I'll let's you know that I love you when i'm here for"
  },
  {
    "start": 3373.92,
    "end": 3373.98,
    "text": "you.\"."
  },
  {
    "start": 3374.98,
    "end": 3377.12,
    "text": "So thats the way we started this conversation."
  },
  {
    "start": 3377.26,
    "end": 3378.36,
    "text": "Have I done something upset?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3379.4,
    "end": 3381.22,
    "text": "If she had done something then I could address it."
  },
  {
    "start": 3381.34,
    "end": 3384.36,
    "text": "We can navigate it and continue moving forward."
  },
  {
    "start": 3384.52,
    "end": 3390.92,
    "text": "Normally what would I say is no he hadn't And then she would follow up with."
  },
  {
    "start": 3390.98,
    "end": 3393.02,
    "text": "question number two is, Would you like to talk about it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3393.82,
    "end": 3395.16,
    "text": "Hey I'm gonna turn the stove off."
  },
  {
    "start": 3395.26,
    "end": 3402.38,
    "text": "I can finish dinner in a little bit and we'll send Walker on the back room letting play with some toys Like...I want you have my undivided attention!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3403.36,
    "end": 3406.78,
    "text": "I want you know that i see You love you..and im here if you wanna Talk!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3408.12,
    "end": 3409.2,
    "text": "Im not going to force you To talk!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3410.34,
    "end": 3412.48,
    "text": "Im Not Gonna make you feel bad If your not ready to talk!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3414.04,
    "end": 3415.96,
    "text": "I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IM HERE WHEN YOU'RE READY TO TALK!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3416.06,
    "end": 3422.74,
    "text": "Those Two Questions Gave Us The Platform to be able to interact, coming back to your original question."
  },
  {
    "start": 3423.62,
    "end": 3433.78,
    "text": "Having Earth a heavenly perspective having more inquisitive heart just say I want to engage with you on personal level."
  },
  {
    "start": 3434.1,
    "end": 3438.4,
    "text": "that's what i've learned in my grief journey from empathy."
  },
  {
    "start": 3439.64,
    "end": 3443.48,
    "text": "Empathy leads me ask questions then give answers."
  },
  {
    "start": 3444.86,
    "end": 3451.18,
    "text": "so when sit was somebody and hear their story I want to hear about this loved one that passed."
  },
  {
    "start": 3451.3,
    "end": 3456.62,
    "text": "Normally my response is for the, This is free anybody can use it's."
  },
  {
    "start": 3456.94,
    "end": 3458.82,
    "text": "maybe you just."
  },
  {
    "start": 3459.04,
    "end": 3463.24,
    "text": "You're gonna have coffee with somebody this week and they're going bring up something really hard."
  },
  {
    "start": 3463.38,
    "end": 3464.4,
    "text": "They just lost a dad."
  },
  {
    "start": 3464.66,
    "end": 3466.28,
    "text": "It just was a sibling."
  },
  {
    "start": 3466.84,
    "end": 3467.88,
    "text": "The salsa dear friend."
  },
  {
    "start": 3468.58,
    "end": 3471.18,
    "text": "My go-to responses i'm so sorry To hear That."
  },
  {
    "start": 3472.16,
    "end": 3476.7,
    "text": "Remind me their name because i'm terrible at names And now try to Use our name over and Over and Over Conversations."
  },
  {
    "start": 3477.24,
    "end": 3478.14,
    "text": "Remind Me About Scott."
  },
  {
    "start": 3478.4,
    "end": 3496.98,
    "text": "I'm so sorry to hear about Scott."
  },
  {
    "start": 3499.4,
    "end": 3506.48,
    "text": "But I don't lead with yeah, you just lost that."
  },
  {
    "start": 3506.6,
    "end": 3507.74,
    "text": "Let me tell about my story."
  },
  {
    "start": 3507.78,
    "end": 3510.68,
    "text": "even then there's kind of done like Empathy."
  },
  {
    "start": 3510.76,
    "end": 3511.5,
    "text": "is this tool?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3511.58,
    "end": 3512.96,
    "text": "There was a chapter book on top of those."
  },
  {
    "start": 3513.2,
    "end": 3517.26,
    "text": "empathy as the tool That should connect us not become a measuring stick."
  },
  {
    "start": 3517.7,
    "end": 3521.44,
    "text": "It's not something i beat you over-the-head with right it's Not."
  },
  {
    "start": 3521.64,
    "end": 3524.96,
    "text": "hey i'm talking to you erin and i want to hear your story."
  },
  {
    "start": 3525.76,
    "end": 3528.16,
    "text": "Instead of hate erin You're now forced here by stories."
  },
  {
    "start": 3528.72,
    "end": 3533.02,
    "text": "let me take the spotlight off at view and shine it all to mean that's not what empathy for."
  },
  {
    "start": 3533.72,
    "end": 3535.9,
    "text": "We're designed in community for community."
  },
  {
    "start": 3536.24,
    "end": 3541.14,
    "text": "Like we were designed by a Triune God, the Father, the Son and the Spirit."
  },
  {
    "start": 3541.6,
    "end": 3547.28,
    "text": "In his image to be in communion...we are meant to do this alone!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3548.52,
    "end": 3552.54,
    "text": "And that personal connection makes connections with other people."
  },
  {
    "start": 3554.34,
    "end": 3564.4,
    "text": "Roundabout way of asking your original question is how I found it most helpful be slow to speak, put the list and ask better questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 3565.72,
    "end": 3566.8,
    "text": "I like your two questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 3567.04,
    "end": 3568.96,
    "text": "And it's a great place to end this."
  },
  {
    "start": 3569.54,
    "end": 3581.4,
    "text": "actually want keep talking about if i think that is good time now for our marriages regardless of we're going through suffering or grief were always gonna go into something you're not sure constantly probably having business."
  },
  {
    "start": 3581.5,
    "end": 3582.54,
    "text": "things are on your mind."
  },
  {
    "start": 3583.3,
    "end": 3589.32,
    "text": "they weigh in there make me feel like oh my god we can do these decisions hard-to-make."
  },
  {
    "start": 3591.3,
    "end": 3595.84,
    "text": "so situation of just being in my head and then snapping, it has nothing to do with."
  },
  {
    "start": 3596.32,
    "end": 3600.38,
    "text": "My wife or anyone who's just a lack of self-control on that moment?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3601.32,
    "end": 3602.68,
    "text": "And so I love those two questions."
  },
  {
    "start": 3603.46,
    "end": 3609.96,
    "text": "repeat the two questions again because i think its is good tool for us especially as husbands To be able go to our wives and be able to do this but wives too."
  },
  {
    "start": 3611.16,
    "end": 3613.3,
    "text": "So have you ever done something to upset you?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3615.48,
    "end": 3618.86,
    "text": "and The follow up question That Is Always Would You Like To Talk About It?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3619.86,
    "end": 3623.32,
    "text": "You give the other person space you take ownership over what?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3623.42,
    "end": 3624.98,
    "text": "You can control which is only."
  },
  {
    "start": 3625.86,
    "end": 3627.22,
    "text": "That's the only thing I can control."
  },
  {
    "start": 3627.48,
    "end": 3628.58,
    "text": "Can't not control my spouse."
  },
  {
    "start": 3629.22,
    "end": 3633.98,
    "text": "I cannot control my kids and I control my employees My customers, my vendors."
  },
  {
    "start": 3634.3,
    "end": 3636.24,
    "text": "nothing i can control myself."
  },
  {
    "start": 3636.9,
    "end": 3642.66,
    "text": "So if i've done something wrong this relationship let me fix that And If i haven't Let Me engage with."
  },
  {
    "start": 3642.92,
    "end": 3644.44,
    "text": "would you like to talk about how your feeling"
  },
  {
    "start": 3645.32,
    "end": 3651.64,
    "text": "so The heart posture also Is To avoid a quick, equally snappy response."
  },
  {
    "start": 3652.36,
    "end": 3652.54,
    "text": "Right?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3652.6,
    "end": 3655.08,
    "text": "Like hey that way you just responded and be offended me."
  },
  {
    "start": 3655.12,
    "end": 3657.4,
    "text": "now I'm going to be offensive back in like"
  },
  {
    "start": 3657.44,
    "end": 3659.04,
    "text": "the crazy loop but"
  },
  {
    "start": 3660.64,
    "end": 3662.72,
    "text": "it stops that immediate flesh response."
  },
  {
    "start": 3663.14,
    "end": 3664.66,
    "text": "But the heart posture is well."
  },
  {
    "start": 3664.9,
    "end": 3670.56,
    "text": "either i did something And we should fix this We need talk about or You're somewhere else."
  },
  {
    "start": 3670.96,
    "end": 3674.54,
    "text": "some of your dealing with Something else doesn't excuse how you behaved."
  },
  {
    "start": 3677.48,
    "end": 3678.44,
    "text": "I'm sorry, I snapped like that."
  },
  {
    "start": 3678.64,
    "end": 3681.48,
    "text": "Um, I was here and I shouldn't have done that."
  },
  {
    "start": 3681.82,
    "end": 3683.58,
    "text": "Hey"
  },
  {
    "start": 3683.66,
    "end": 3683.9,
    "text": "Matthew?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3683.94,
    "end": 3685.22,
    "text": "That was really good."
  },
  {
    "start": 3685.52,
    "end": 3688.92,
    "text": "I'd love to sit all day on actually chat more like the...I'm loving it."
  },
  {
    "start": 3689.02,
    "end": 3689.84,
    "text": "get to hear your story in."
  },
  {
    "start": 3689.88,
    "end": 3695.22,
    "text": "there's so much stuff that I think we could dig into but for the sake of time i'd love you."
  },
  {
    "start": 3695.36,
    "end": 3697.26,
    "text": "share what's the name of your book?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3697.9,
    "end": 3698.62,
    "text": "where can they get it."
  },
  {
    "start": 3699.38,
    "end": 3701.68,
    "text": "And really who would you write this for?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3702.2,
    "end": 3705.96,
    "text": "I'm sure anyone could Like from me after I haven't gone through any deep grief stuff."
  },
  {
    "start": 3706.32,
    "end": 3707.04,
    "text": "It's actually not true."
  },
  {
    "start": 3708.08,
    "end": 3711.76,
    "text": "I'm terrible with emotional stuff and i'm just being honest."
  },
  {
    "start": 3712.52,
    "end": 3717.04,
    "text": "My brother died a handful of years ago, so I still don't really know how to deal with that stuff."
  },
  {
    "start": 3717.16,
    "end": 3719.98,
    "text": "but... So thank you for sharing your heart in."
  },
  {
    "start": 3720.06,
    "end": 3721.68,
    "text": "it gives me perspective on my own heart."
  },
  {
    "start": 3722.16,
    "end": 3722.68,
    "text": "What was his name?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3723.66,
    "end": 3724.24,
    "text": "His name is Michael."
  },
  {
    "start": 3724.64,
    "end": 3724.76,
    "text": "yeah"
  },
  {
    "start": 3725.42,
    "end": 3726.14,
    "text": "That's my brother's friend."
  },
  {
    "start": 3726.24,
    "end": 3737.82,
    "text": "He's my older brother And actually he had a son between him that passed away from SIDS way back just before I was born."
  },
  {
    "start": 3738.64,
    "end": 3742.04,
    "text": "And so they, they walked through that stuff decades ago."
  },
  {
    "start": 3742.36,
    "end": 3745.48,
    "text": "So it's not an uncommon story of grief."
  },
  {
    "start": 3746.02,
    "end": 3749.34,
    "text": "Thank you for sharing what we all its name in your book and kind of."
  },
  {
    "start": 3749.38,
    "end": 3750.28,
    "text": "who do you hope gets this?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3750.52,
    "end": 3750.8,
    "text": "Yeah."
  },
  {
    "start": 3750.9,
    "end": 3761.94,
    "text": "So thank you very much even though We Will if are watching online on YouTube on Spotify Even Though We Will has got a fun article the front of us finding rest In The Waves Of Child Laws And The Practical Art Securious Through."
  },
  {
    "start": 3762.92,
    "end": 3767.24,
    "text": "So the foundation of a book is The journals that are wrote along the way."
  },
  {
    "start": 3767.46,
    "end": 3772.48,
    "text": "It's just a way that I Processed, I learned my grief journey up got to move and I've gotta write."
  },
  {
    "start": 3772.9,
    "end": 3780.14,
    "text": "And it was consistently after be those two things to work through my grief and so I wrote A lot."
  },
  {
    "start": 3780.92,
    "end": 3782.22,
    "text": "some others I shared publicly."
  },
  {
    "start": 3782.44,
    "end": 3783.5,
    "text": "most of them I didn't."
  },
  {
    "start": 3783.68,
    "end": 3790.62,
    "text": "I Didn't really think he was gonna turn into anything and over the years its turned in for the book and so the audience."
  },
  {
    "start": 3791.6,
    "end": 3796.32,
    "text": "In twenty nineteen, when we learned of Noah's diagnosis I started looking for resources."
  },
  {
    "start": 3796.42,
    "end": 3805.82,
    "text": "For dads who were had lost a child or losing the child and it didn't find a lot And i certainly didn't found a lot that were biblical base."
  },
  {
    "start": 3806.86,
    "end": 3807.82,
    "text": "There was more resources."
  },
  {
    "start": 3807.92,
    "end": 3813.9,
    "text": "now there are some amazing organizations out there But I wanted to be able on our son."
  },
  {
    "start": 3814.28,
    "end": 3820.62,
    "text": "so I wrote It from specifically From my perspective by dad's perspective Hannah's reddit."
  },
  {
    "start": 3820.86,
    "end": 3826.06,
    "text": "She's blessed at all, but she's like...she encouraged me to just let this be from my voice."
  },
  {
    "start": 3826.18,
    "end": 3829.36,
    "text": "And this is a dad's voice of walking through grief."
  },
  {
    "start": 3829.96,
    "end": 3844.84,
    "text": "so I do not speak for all men by any standpoint But my hope is that for the man out there who's trying articulate what they're going through maybe it'll help give some words Some color too What you're trying to articulate in your heart?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3845.8,
    "end": 3849.42,
    "text": "Number one number two It's for the wife out there."
  },
  {
    "start": 3849.96,
    "end": 3855.54,
    "text": "He's trying to better understand her husband who doesn't understand why he is feeling some of the things that his feelings."
  },
  {
    "start": 3855.66,
    "end": 3859.96,
    "text": "If she wants kind of a glimpse into what he may be feeling, can you not speak for all men?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3860.0,
    "end": 3870.78,
    "text": "The last person in this floor Is...the community around somebody whose in a season of grief That saying I don't Understand What They're Going Through."
  },
  {
    "start": 3872.02,
    "end": 3874.44,
    "text": "This is A story Into What they are going through."
  },
  {
    "start": 3875.36,
    "end": 3881.54,
    "text": "This is the book i wish could have handed To our small group our pastor, or elders."
  },
  {
    "start": 3881.7,
    "end": 3890.62,
    "text": "Our community... I wish i could have had them just in my back pocket that everybody who heard like gosh your son is dying and i could've just handed him this book."
  },
  {
    "start": 3891.38,
    "end": 3895.14,
    "text": "they just said here's some things not to say there are some ways to love us."
  },
  {
    "start": 3895.26,
    "end": 3896.52,
    "text": "Here's what i'm walking through."
  },
  {
    "start": 3896.64,
    "end": 3897.9,
    "text": "Here's how you can be praying for me."
  },
  {
    "start": 3897.94,
    "end": 3904.66,
    "text": "This Is My Journey Through Grief And What's Been Amazing That God Has Used It Around The World To Reach People."
  },
  {
    "start": 3904.88,
    "end": 3915.9,
    "text": "it's very very humbling But it's cool to see that my son's story, God is taking and reaching in amazing places."
  },
  {
    "start": 3916.82,
    "end": 3923.78,
    "text": "And he's really, really cool with seeing God redeem the waltz that we have."
  },
  {
    "start": 3924.34,
    "end": 3928.26,
    "text": "He's turning for our good and a way only God."
  },
  {
    "start": 3929.9,
    "end": 3939.68,
    "text": "Well thank you for your obedience to sharing one of the hardest things glorifying God and blessing people."
  },
  {
    "start": 3939.8,
    "end": 3946.78,
    "text": "So I just pray that everyone goes and checks out your book, put the links in the show notes again say their name of it or they can get it?"
  },
  {
    "start": 3946.92,
    "end": 3950.92,
    "text": "Yes even though we will you could find them on EvenThoughWeWill.com."
  },
  {
    "start": 3951.18,
    "end": 3952.8,
    "text": "You Can Find That On Amazon."
  },
  {
    "start": 3953.24,
    "end": 3955.68,
    "text": "It's Also Linked On My Website And Add To Me For .com."
  },
  {
    "start": 3955.88,
    "end": 3958.2,
    "text": "Get It On Any Of Those Places Even Though We Will."
  },
  {
    "start": 3959.54,
    "end": 3960.58,
    "text": "Matthew Thank You so Much!"
  },
  {
    "start": 3960.88,
    "end": 3962.14,
    "text": "And I Just Pray That God Continues."
  },
  {
    "start": 3962.18,
    "end": 3963.98,
    "text": "Bless Your Journey And Bless Your Family."
  },
  {
    "start": 3964.78,
    "end": 3965.26,
    "text": "Thank You For"
  },
  {
    "start": 3965.3,
    "end": 3967.5,
    "text": "Boys That You Have Incredible."
  },
  {
    "start": 3967.56,
    "end": 3968.38,
    "text": "So God bless you, man."
  },
  {
    "start": 3968.42,
    "end": 3970.9,
    "text": "Thank You so much for being in the marriage after God podcast."
  }
]